Have you ever thought for a moment that our life seems to be like a comedy script? I mean those awkward and embarrassing moments, the moments where our laptop just broke before a big presentation or locked us out of our car while it’s still running (Don’t worry, we all have been there), it’s clear that life is indeed a comedy series that we found on Netflix.
So why not laugh along with it? And that’s why we’ve gathered these 110 funny quotes that can prove our life is a big comedy show
Classic One-Liners That Sum Up Life
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” – Unknown
“If life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” – Cathy Guisewite
“I’m not lazy. I’m on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown
“Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.” – Maryon Pearson
“Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” – Billie Burke
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” – Robin Williams
“You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” – Steven Wright
“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.” – Unknown
Work, Adulting & Other Everyday Disasters
“My boss told me to have a good day… so I went home.” – Unknown
“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
“I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” – Chandler Bing, Friends
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Unknown
“Adults are just kids with money and responsibilities.” – Ryan Reynolds
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” – Joe Girard
“Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.” – Unknown
“Trying to be an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.” – Unknown
“Mondays are proof that time travel is real and we are being punished.” – Unknown
“I wish everything was as easy as getting fat.” – Unknown
Wisdom That Makes You Laugh (And Think)
“The best things in life are free. The second-best are very expensive.” – Coco Chanel
“I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms.” – Michael Scott, The Office
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin
“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
“The secret to staying young is to lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball
“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.” – Michael Caine
“Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.” – Earl Wilson
“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire
“To err is human; to blame it on someone else shows management potential.” – Doug Larson
Quotes About Laziness, Sleep & Doing the Bare Minimum
“I’m not sleeping. I’m just resting my eyes.” – Unknown
“If there’s one thing I’m willing to bet on, it’s my laziness.” – Unknown
“I’m in shape. Round is a shape.” – George Carlin
“Why stand when you can sit? Why sit when you can lie down?” – Unknown
“I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back.” – Unknown
“Exercise? I thought you said extra fries.” – Unknown
“Sometimes I shock myself with how lazy I am.” – Unknown
“I love naps. I wish I could collect them like frequent flyer miles.” – Unknown
“You can’t have a million-dollar dream with a minimum-wage work ethic… unless you’re a cat.” – Unknown
“Sleep is my cardio.” – Unknown
Relationships, Dating, and Other Funny Failures
“Love is sharing your popcorn.” – Charles Schultz
“Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” – Albert Einstein
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” – Will Ferrell
“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner
“Never laugh at your partner’s choices. You’re one of them.” – Unknown
“Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.” – Woody Allen
“I wasn’t kissing him, I was just telling his lips a secret.” – Mae West
“Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.” – Unknown
“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield
“If love is a battlefield, I clearly forgot to bring my helmet.” – Unknown
Money, Shopping & Being Broke (But Fabulous)
“Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.” – Bo Derek
“Too much month at the end of the money.” – Unknown
“My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.” – Unknown
“Why save money when you can spend it on dumb things and cry later?” – Unknown
“I’m not broke. I’m just pre-rich.” – Unknown
“I love paying bills. Said no one ever.” – Unknown
“Budgeting: the art of doing less with less.” – Unknown
“I put the ‘pro’ in procrastinate and the ‘debt’ in debit card.” – Unknown
“Shopping is my cardio… until the credit card bill arrives.” – Unknown
“I like my money right where I can see it—hanging in my closet.” – Carrie Bradshaw
Absurd but Hilarious Observations
“I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.” – Unknown
“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.” – Steven Wright
“Some people graduate with honors, I am honored just to be here.” – Unknown
“I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown
“Why do they put ‘wet floor’ signs in places that are already wet? It’s too late!” – Unknown
“I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.” – Unknown
“If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?” – Unknown
“I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” – Chandler Bing
“I have enough clothes and shoes. I don’t need to go shopping,” said no woman ever.” – Unknown
“I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and forget at the same time.” – Unknown
Social Media, Texting, and the Digital Life
“If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted… I wish I had a puppy.” – Unknown
“The first rule of social media is: Don’t read the comments.” – Unknown
“I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope for the best.” – Unknown
“404 error: Motivation not found.” – Unknown
“Instagram vs. reality? More like expectation vs. existential crisis.” – Unknown
“I wish autocorrect had an ‘are you sure?’ feature.” – Unknown
“I talk to myself on Twitter. We have a great relationship.” – Unknown
“I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes ever.” – Unknown
“Can we uninstall 2020 and reinstall it? This version has a virus.” – Unknown
“Netflix: Are you still watching? Me: Yes, judgey.” – Unknown
Random Life Quotes That Are Just Plain Funny
No Theme, Just Laughter
“My brain has too many tabs open.” – Unknown
“You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks what you do for fun.” – Unknown
“Sometimes I shock myself with the smart stuff I say. Other times I try to get out of the car with my seatbelt on.” – Unknown
“Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?” – Unknown
“I’m not weird. I’m a limited edition.” – Unknown
“Sometimes I wonder what happens to people who ask me for directions.” – Unknown
“I’m silently correcting your grammar.” – Unknown
“I’m not clumsy. The floor just hates me.” – Unknown
“Don’t grow up—it’s a trap.” – Unknown
“Life is what happens between Wi-Fi signals.” – Unknown
Let’s End With a Laugh (Because Why Not?)
The Grand Finale of LOLs
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” – Mae West
“If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.” – Steven Wright
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“I’m so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I’m saying.” – Oscar Wilde
“Life is hard. After all, it kills you.” – Katharine Hepburn
“If you think you’re too small to be effective, you’ve never been in bed with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
“Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.” – Ellen DeGeneres
“Don’t worry if plan A doesn’t work out. There are 25 more letters in the alphabet.” – Unknown
“Life is too short to be serious all the time. So if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me—I’ll do it for you.” – Unknown
“We’re all just awkward people trying to look normal.” – Unknown
“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” – Victor Borge
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde
“Life is better when you’re laughing.” – Unknown
“Funny is an attitude.” – Flip Wilson
“Reality continues to ruin my life.” – Bill Watterson
“The only time to be positive you’re doing the right thing is when you’re doing nothing at all.” – Unknown
“Some people chase dreams, I nap.” – Unknown
“When life shuts a door… open it again. That’s how doors work.” – Unknown
“Don’t give up on your dreams—keep sleeping.” – Unknown
“You can’t fix stupid, but you can laugh at it.” – Unknown
Final Thoughts: The Best Medicine
That’s the wrap-up of our collection of 110 Funny Quotes That Prove Life’s Just One Big Comedy Show.
Don’t you think that our life is indeed a comedy show? Laughter is indeed the best medicine, and it reminds us especially when our life gets harder, weird, and unpredictable.
I hope you enjoyed this collection and found your favorite one that you can share with your friends.
And bookmark this page so that you can come back whenever you need a little lift.
