Let’s be honest: sometimes, some of us really think that the workday is like an Olympic sport. All we think from the morning to the evening is how to navigate the working ours without getting noticed by the employer. In this post, we’ve curated 85 Funny Quotes for Surviving the Workday.
So, let’s dive in!
Hilarious Quotes About Morning Work Struggles
Some days I amaze myself. Other days, I put my keys in the fridge.” – Unknown
“Morning meetings should be illegal. Who decided productivity starts before coffee?” – Unknown
“My bed and I have a special relationship. It’s a long-distance one during the workday.” – Unknown
“Mondays are like math. I know it’s important, but I don’t like it.” – Unknown
“If work starts before 10 AM, I consider it a crime against humanity.” – Unknown
“I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope for the best.” – Unknown
“Sometimes I wake up and think: why?” – Unknown
“Coffee and sarcasm are my workplace survival kit.” – Unknown
“I need a day between Sunday and Monday.” – Unknown
“If Monday had a face, I’d punch it.” – Unknown
Funny Quotes About Emails and Meetings
“This meeting could have been an email. Actually, it could have been nothing.” – Unknown
“Emails are like mosquitoes. Just when you think you killed one, three more appear.” – Unknown
“I survived another meeting that should have been a Google Doc.” – Unknown
“Reply-all is the workplace equivalent of yelling in a library.” – Unknown
“Meetings: where minutes are kept and hours are lost.” – Unknown
“Work email is like laundry—it never ends.” – Unknown
“Nothing makes me panic like someone saying, ‘Can you hop on a quick call?’” – Unknown
“My inbox is proof that no good deed goes unpunished.” – Unknown
“Meetings are the modern-day torture chamber.” – Unknown
“I’d rather wrestle a crocodile than sit through another PowerPoint presentation.” – Unknown
Relatable Quotes About Office Life
“Work hard so your boss notices… you’re online, not productive.” – Unknown
“Nothing says professionalism like Googling everything you were just assigned.” – Unknown
“Teamwork means never having to take full responsibility.” – Unknown
“Being an adult is basically just emailing ‘Sorry for the delay’ until you die.” – Unknown
“Why sit when you can lie down? Why work when you can avoid it?” – Unknown
“Nothing bonds coworkers faster than mutual hatred of the printer.” – Unknown
“My boss says to have a good day, so I went home.” – Unknown
“If work made sense, it wouldn’t start with ‘work.’” – Unknown
“The office fridge is basically a crime scene.” – Unknown
“At work, I pretend to be productive until it’s socially acceptable to leave.” – Unknown
Quotes About Work Stress (That Are Way Too True)
“Stress spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not.” – Unknown
“Work stress burns calories, right? Asking for a friend.” – Unknown
“I don’t need therapy. I just need fewer deadlines.” – Unknown
“Trying to stay calm at work is a full-time job in itself.” – Unknown
“Some people bring joy wherever they go. Others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde
“Work stress: the free company perk nobody asked for.” – Unknown
“My work brain and my weekend brain do not speak the same language.” – Unknown
“I put the ‘pro’ in procrastination.” – Unknown
“Is crying at your desk considered multitasking?” – Unknown
“Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard
Quotes About Wanting to Quit Every Five Minutes
“Every job is a self-portrait of the person who does it. I prefer abstract art.” – Unknown
“Work is like a hostage situation where lunch is the ransom.” – Unknown
“If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.” – George Carlin
“Some days you’re the pigeon, some days you’re the statue.” – Unknown
“If work was fun, they wouldn’t have to pay us.” – Unknown
“I have two moods: I quit and I need this paycheck.” – Unknown
“Work hard today so your boss can afford another vacation.” – Unknown
“Employment is basically renting your time for coffee money.” – Unknown
“I work so I can afford my weekend personality.” – Unknown
“I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. It’s a system.” – Unknown
Quotes About Lunch Breaks and Snacks
“Lunch is my love language.” – Unknown
“If you see me running at work, it’s toward food.” – Unknown
“My brain has two tabs open: work and what’s for lunch.” – Unknown
“Lunch break is the light at the end of the cubicle tunnel.” – Unknown
“Food is the only reason I haven’t quit this job.” – Unknown
“Calories don’t count if they’re work snacks.” – Unknown
“Lunch hour: the most productive part of the day.” – Unknown
“Every office has that one person who eats loudly. If you don’t know who it is, it’s probably you.” – Unknown
“Snacks are cheaper than therapy.” – Unknown
“I bring lunch to work so my wallet won’t cry, but then I cry because it’s boring.” – Unknown
Funny Quotes About Surviving Until 5 PM
“Work hard until quitting time. Or just look busy—it’s the same.” – Unknown
“Is it Friday yet? Asking for my soul.” – Unknown
“Time slows down at work like it’s stuck buffering.” – Unknown
“The clock is my worst coworker.” – Unknown
“Workdays are just countdowns to happy hour.” – Unknown
“My productivity drops 99% after lunch.” – Unknown
“Leaving work on Friday feels like escaping prison.” – Unknown
“5 PM is my favorite office supply.” – Unknown
“The longest distance in the world is between 4:59 and 5:00.” – Unknown
“Quitting time is the real office holiday.” – Unknown
Quotes About WFH (Work From Home) Life
“Work from home: where every day is casual Friday.” – Unknown
“I work from home, but my fridge thinks I’m unemployed.” – Unknown
“Working remotely means my coworkers are my pets.” – Unknown
“Zoom fatigue is real, but at least pants are optional.” – Unknown
“WFH: the art of working with one tab open and Netflix on the other.” – Unknown
“The mute button is my favorite productivity tool.” – Unknown
“WFH snacks disappear 200% faster.” – Unknown
“Remote work means more meetings, but now you’re uncomfortable at home instead.” – Unknown
“I love working from home. My office chair is now my bed.” – Unknown
“My commute is now just rolling out of bed. Progress!” – Unknown
Extra-Relatable Quotes to Finish Strong
“I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and forget all at once.” – Unknown
“Work is like riding a bike, except the bike is on fire, and so is everything else.” – Unknown
“I always give 100% at work: 10% Monday, 20% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 25% Thursday, 5% Friday.” – Unknown
“Corporate life: where fun goes to die.” – Unknown
“Surviving the workday is a skill. Thriving is a myth.” – Unknown
Final Thoughts
That’s the wrap-up of our collection of 85 Funny Quotes for Surviving the Workday. Work can be draining, soul-sucking, and occasionally rage-inducing—but it doesn’t have to be humorless. So the next time you’re drowning in deadlines, remember: you’re not alone.
Don’t forget to share some of your favorite quotes from the collection!
