Let’s be honest: jobs are really complicated for most of us. You love to see your paycheck, while you don’t want to go to work, and the free coffee if you’re lucky, but the rest?. Sometimes hating our job is a real thing, a hobby because of those meetings that could’ve been emails. In this post, we’ve collected 100 quotes about hating your job.
Because if we can’t quit, we might as well laugh.
Funny Job Quotes That Hit Too Close to Home
“Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my keys in the fridge.” — Unknown
“I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, and 4% Friday.” — Unknown
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my salary.” — Unknown
“Work hard so you can afford to take time off from work.” — Unknown
“I need a six-month vacation, twice a year.” — Unknown
“If work is so great, why do they have to pay us to do it?” — Unknown
“I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.” — Unknown
“Job hunting is just dating, but worse, because they still ghost you after you’ve given them your résumé.” — Unknown
“I don’t hate my job, I just hate being awake while doing it.” — Unknown
“Whoever said ‘Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life’ clearly never tried customer service.” — Unknown
Quotes About Bosses That Make You Want to Scream
“My boss is like a software update—always taking forever and never really improving anything.” — Unknown
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself working for your boss’s boss.” — Unknown
“Sometimes I wonder if my boss wakes up in the morning and thinks, ‘How can I ruin their day today?’” — Unknown
“Being micromanaged is just being babysat by someone who thinks they’re smarter than you.” — Unknown
“I don’t hate my boss. I just hate every decision they’ve ever made.” — Unknown
“Bosses: proof that incompetence rises to the top.” — Unknown
“My boss says I have bad time management skills. I told him, ‘Just wait, I’ll fix it eventually.’” — Unknown
“When my boss says, ‘We’re like a family,’ I suddenly remember why I moved out of mine.” — Unknown
“I’d like to thank my boss for giving me anxiety and coffee addiction all in one package.” — Unknown
“If common sense were currency, most bosses would still be broke.” — Unknown
Quotes About Meetings That Could’ve Been Emails
“Nothing makes me hate my job more than a meeting about a meeting.” — Unknown
“I survived another meeting that should have been an email.” — Unknown
“The first rule of useless meetings: there’s always another one tomorrow.” — Unknown
“Meetings: where minutes are kept and hours are lost.” — Unknown
“Work meetings are just adult detention with bad coffee.” — Unknown
“If you love meetings, you should just throw yourself a birthday party at work.” — Unknown
“A meeting is an event where the minutes are recorded and the hours are wasted.” — Unknown
“Meetings are the modern workplace’s form of torture.” — Unknown
“Can we just start every meeting by saying, ‘This could’ve been an email’ and go home?” — Unknown
“Every time someone says, ‘Let’s circle back,’ an angel loses its wings.” — Unknown
Quotes About Job Burnout (a.k.a. Daily Life)
“Burnout is what happens when you try to avoid being human for too long.” — Michael Gungor
“I’m not tired of my job. I’m tired of my soul leaving my body every time I log in.” — Unknown
“Exhaustion is my love language.” — Unknown
“Work hard now, nap forever later.” — Unknown
“I’ve reached the point where even my coffee needs coffee.” — Unknown
“If Monday had a face, I’d punch it.” — Unknown
“I don’t want to work hard, I want to hardly work.” — Unknown
“My current work ethic is called ‘survival.’” — Unknown
“Burnout is like being roasted, but without the fun jokes.” — Unknown
“At this point, my job is just an energy-draining hobby I get paid for.” — Unknown
Quotes About Quitting (In Your Imagination)
“I keep my resignation letter updated like it’s a résumé.” — Unknown
“Sometimes I fantasize about quitting my job, but then I remember rent exists.” — Unknown
“Dear job: It’s not me, it’s definitely you.” — Unknown
“I want to quit, but I need to eat.” — Unknown
“Every Friday, I draft my resignation in my head. Every Monday, I delete it.” — Unknown
“My job and I are in a toxic relationship, but I can’t afford to leave.” — Unknown
“Quitting your job sounds fun until you realize Netflix doesn’t accept hugs as payment.” — Unknown
“I didn’t choose the 9-to-5 life. The 9-to-5 life chose me… and won’t let go.” — Unknown
“My dream job is not having one.” — Unknown
“One day, I’ll quit my job and become a full-time nap enthusiast.” — Unknown
Quotes About Co-Workers
“Work friends are just trauma-bonded strangers.” — Unknown
“Coworkers: the only people who understand why you drink at lunch.” — Unknown
“Some coworkers deserve an award. Others deserve a restraining order.” — Unknown
“I don’t need enemies; I work with enough people already.” — Unknown
“Coworkers make work tolerable—or absolutely unbearable.” — Unknown
“Office gossip is the only free entertainment I get.” — Unknown
“Work BFFs: because suffering loves company.” — Unknown
“The best coworkers are the ones who complain about the boss with you.” — Unknown
“Without coworkers, I’d probably have quit years ago. Or sooner.” — Unknown
“Some coworkers talk too much. Others don’t talk enough. Balance, people.” — Unknown
Quotes About Money and Paychecks
“I work to live. I don’t live to work. Unless my paycheck says otherwise.” — Unknown
“I love payday, but I hate seeing how fast my money disappears.” — Unknown
“They say money doesn’t buy happiness, but it does pay rent, which is close enough.” — Unknown
“I don’t hate my job. I hate that my paycheck is smaller than my student loans.” — Unknown
“My favorite coworker is direct deposit.” — Unknown
“At this point, I’m just working to keep my Wi-Fi alive.” — Unknown
“My salary and my effort stopped talking to each other a long time ago.” — Unknown
“I work hard so my dog can have a better life.” — Unknown
“The only reason I haven’t quit is because Target doesn’t take exposure as payment.” — Unknown
“If I got paid in sarcasm, I’d be rich.” — Unknown
Quotes About Mondays (The Real Villain)
“Monday is proof that weekends are way too short.” — Unknown
“Dear Monday, why are you back so soon? We just broke up.” — Unknown
“Monday should be optional.” — Unknown
“I’d rather fight a bear than deal with Monday emails.” — Unknown
“Monday: the speed bump in the highway of life.” — Unknown
“Even coffee is scared of Mondays.” — Unknown
“Mondays feel like punishment for having fun on the weekend.” — Unknown
“Monday is the universe’s way of saying, ‘Gotcha!’” — Unknown
“Monday: the sequel nobody asked for.” — Unknown
“Mondays are just practice for retirement.” — Unknown
“Office work is just controlled boredom.” — Unknown
“My cubicle is my prison cell with slightly better Wi-Fi.” — Unknown
“The office AC is always set to ‘Antarctica.’” — Unknown
“Whoever invented open offices must hate humanity.” — Unknown
“Water cooler gossip is cheaper than therapy.” — Unknown
“The printer is the most evil coworker of all.” — Unknown
“Office kitchens are where Tupperware goes to die.” — Unknown
“Desk chairs should come with a chiropractor subscription.” — Unknown
“Every office has that one mysterious smell.” — Unknown
“My desk is just organized chaos with a coffee cup on top.” — Unknown
Quotes About Job Motivation (or Lack Thereof)
“My boss says to think outside the box. I say, what box? I’m not even in the room.” — Unknown
“Motivation at work is just caffeine in disguise.” — Unknown
“I start every Monday motivated. By Tuesday, it’s gone.” — Unknown
“My job motivation is watching my coworkers do less.” — Unknown
“Work smarter, not harder. Or better yet, don’t work at all.” — Unknown
“The only thing I look forward to at work is leaving.” — Unknown
“My professional skill is looking busy when I’m not.” — Unknown
“I’m not lazy at work, I’m just energy-efficient.” — Unknown
“Some people climb the corporate ladder. I just hold the ladder for them.” — Unknown
“Motivation ends where my cubicle begins.” — Unknown
Final Thoughts
That’s the wrap-up of our collection of 100 Funny Morning Quotes for People. Now you know that hating our job is practically universal- at least we can laugh about it.
So the next time your boss calls a “quick meeting” that lasts an hour, or Monday rolls around way too soon, remember these words of wisdom
