We all know that social media is sometimes get really too serious. Between the “grind and rise” reels and overly filtered party photos, we all need something to laugh. That’s where we need to spice up our Instagram caption, or tweeting some funny lines for your friends. Hope you find something that you like to share in your stories, these 50+ Funny Quotes to Share on Social Media.
Let’s scroll and giggle.
Classic One-Liners That Never Miss
“I am on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.” — Anonymous
“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.” — Anonymous
“Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?” — Anonymous
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.” — Anonymous
“Don’t give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping.” — Albert Einstein… probably not
“My brain has too many tabs open.” — Anonymous
“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” — Anonymous
“If I was a bird, I know who I’d poop on.” — Probably a pigeon
“Running late is my cardio.” — Anonymous
“I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” — Chandler Bing, Friends*
“I don’t need a hairstylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” — Anonymous
“Me: does nothing | My to-do list: Still judging me.” — Anonymous
“I put the ‘pro’ in procrastinate.” — Anonymous
“If you can’t handle me at my worst, good. I don’t like being handled.” — Anonymous
“I followed my heart… and it led me to the fridge.” — Anonymous
“Instagram vs Reality: Where the glow-up dies.” — Anonymous
“I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.” — Anonymous
“First rule of 2020s: Never make eye contact in Zoom meetings.” — Anonymous
“Warning: I have mood swings and sarcasm is my love language.” — Anonymous
“Don’t study me. You won’t graduate.” — Anonymous
Relatable Quotes for Overthinkers, Introverts & Daily Life Survivors
“I whisper to my WiFi router every night: Stay strong.” — Anonymous
“I’m not anti-social. I’m just not user-friendly.” — Anonymous
“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” — Douglas Adams
“Overthinking: the art of creating problems that weren’t even there.” — Anonymous
“Me trying to be productive: opens 37 tabs and panics.” — Anonymous
“Some people graduate with honors. I am just honored to graduate.” — Anonymous
“I planned to take over the world but overslept.” — Anonymous
“Introverts unite… separately… in your own homes.” — Anonymous
“My favorite hobby is going to bed and hoping tomorrow will cancel itself.” — Anonymous
“If Monday had a face, I’d punch it.” — Garfield
“I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.” — Anonymous
“My phone battery lasts longer than most of my friendships.” — Anonymous
“Sleep is my drug. My bed is my dealer. And my alarm clock is the police.” — Anonymous
“If life gives you lemons, add vodka.” — Anonymous
“I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.” — Anonymous
Cheesy But Hilarious Quotes That Still Slap
“Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.” — Anonymous
“I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.” — Anonymous
“My math teacher called me average. How mean!” — Anonymous
“I’m friends with all electricians—I have good current connections.” — Anonymous
“To the guy who invented zero: Thanks for nothing.” — Anonymous
“Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking outside the box.” — Anonymous
“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.” — Anonymous
“I would tell a construction joke, but I’m still working on it.” — Anonymous
“My puns are koala-tea.” — Anonymous
“I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.” — Anonymous
Funny Quotes for Text Posts, Reels & Tweets
“Life’s short. Smile while you still have teeth.” — Mallory Hopkins
“I’m not short. I’m concentrated awesome.” — Anonymous
“Not all who wander are lost. Some are just looking for coffee.” — Anonymous
“Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet. No one really knows how.” — Anonymous
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” — Jim Carrey
“Sarcasm: because beating the crap out of people is illegal.” — Anonymous
“Dear sleep: I’m sorry we broke up. I want you back.” — Anonymous
“I’m on a 30-day diet. So far I’ve lost 15 days.” — Anonymous
“I’m not clumsy. The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.” — Anonymous
“If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.” — Steven Wright
Final Thoughts: Make Someone LOL Today
There you go- 50+ Funny Quotes to Share on Social Media. Whether you want to make someone smile or you needed a line to laugh. If you have enjoyed the collection, why not save it or share it with someone who might need it.
