Let’s be real: Monday is our biggest enemy. We think that we are all prepared for the new week and fresh starts, but when it starts, we get hurt every single time. Whether you’re dragging yourself to your desk or ticking off the checklist, we all can use a laugh. So we’ve curated 240 Hilarious Monday Motivation Quotes for the Chronically Unmotivated. Let’s get into it!
Monday Mood in One-Liners
Short and Snarky Quotes
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.” — Unknown
“If Monday had a face, I’d punch it.” — Jim Gaffigan
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.” — Steven Wright
“Mondays are proof that time travel isn’t real.” — Unknown
“Monday. The day all my weekend plans fall apart.” — Unknown
“I swear Monday comes faster than any other day.” — Unknown
“Me: I’ve got this! Also me: snoozes alarm 7 times.” — Unknown
“Monday: Because adulting won’t do itself.” — Unknown
“Some people wake up energized. I wake up confused.” — Unknown
“It’s Monday. I’m already 97% done with this week.” — Unknown
“Monday is a reminder that I need more coffee… or a vacation.” — Unknown
“Monday: A reminder that I have 5 more days of work to get through.” — Unknown
“I woke up like this… tired and wishing it was still the weekend.” — Unknown
“Mondays are proof that my bed is the most comfortable place on Earth.” — Unknown
“I don’t have the energy to be productive today, or any day for that matter.” — Unknown
“Monday. Just another excuse for me to do nothing.” — Unknown
“Coffee, because adulting is hard and so is Monday.” — Unknown
“I am smiling because it’s Monday, but mostly because it’s almost over.” — Unknown
“Monday is like that one friend who always shows up uninvited.” — Unknown
“If Monday had a flavor, it would be bitter disappointment.” — Unknown
“I don’t know how to be an adult. Monday is just a reminder.” — Unknown
“My motivation is like my Wi-Fi—only works half the time on Mondays.” — Unknown
Work, Deadlines, and Other Monday Nightmares
“Why is ‘Monday’ not optional in the workweek menu?” — Unknown
“I don’t always hate my job. Just on Mondays. And Tuesdays. And also Wednesday…” — Unknown
“Monday: the day when my coffee needs coffee.” — Unknown
“If every day is a gift, I want to know where to return Monday.” — Erma Bombeck
“I pretend to work. Monday pretends to be bearable. We’re both lying.” — Unknown
“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” — Douglas Adams
“It’s not that I’m lazy. I just rest before I get tired.” — Anonymous
“My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.” — Unknown
“Raise your hand if Monday has personally victimized you.” — Unknown
“Just remember, Mondays are a good time to start quitting your job again.” — Unknown
“Monday is my second favorite F-word. The first one is ‘freaking.’” — Unknown
“If Monday was a song, it would be called ‘Another Day, Another Dollar.'” — Unknown
“Monday: the reason we have coffee, and also the reason we need it so badly.” — Unknown
“The first thing I do on Monday morning is pretend to be productive.” — Unknown
“Monday. The official day of pretending you’re going to work harder this week.” — Unknown
“I haven’t worked this hard since I was still trying to get my first job.” — Unknown
“Monday mornings are the workweek equivalent of a hangover without the fun night before.” — Unknown
“Monday: when you realize that your weekend wasn’t long enough.” — Unknown
“It’s Monday. Time to start pretending like you have it all together.” — Unknown
“You know you’re an adult when Monday feels like a punishment.” — Unknown
“Is it Monday already? I’m going back to bed.” — Unknown
“I just survived the weekend, and now I’m expected to survive Monday?” — Unknown
Motivation, But Make It Funny
“Be like a postage stamp—stick to it until you get there.” — Josh Billings
“You can’t have a million-dollar dream with a minimum-wage work ethic… unless you’re really lucky.” — Unknown
“Don’t watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going. But like, slowly. It’s Monday.” — Sam Levenson
“When life gives you Mondays, dip them in glitter and sparkle all day.” — Ella Woodward
“Get up. Dress up. Show up. Complain later.” — Unknown
“You miss 100% of the naps you don’t take.” — Wayne Gretzky, probably
“Start where you are. Use what you have. Complain loudly while doing it.” — Arthur Ashe
“Do something today your future self will thank you for. Like going back to bed.” — Unknown
“Push yourself… off the couch and into productivity. Maybe.” — Unknown
“Be strong. I whispered to myself, as I opened my inbox.” — Unknown
“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” — Unknown
“I’m not saying I’m lazy, but if I had a dollar for every time I didn’t want to work, I’d be retired by now.” — Unknown
“Don’t stop when you’re tired. Stop when you’ve hit the snooze button one too many times.” — Unknown
“You can do anything, but not everything. Especially on Monday.” — Unknown
“Monday is the perfect day to get motivated… for next Monday.” — Unknown
“Do what you love, and you’ll never have to work a day in your life. But Monday’s still gonna suck.” — Unknown
“The best way to predict your future is to take a nap and hope for the best.” — Unknown
“I will start working hard tomorrow. But for today… I’ll just think about it.” — Unknown
“You know what they say: ‘If you can’t beat Monday, join it. Then make it leave by noon.'” — Unknown
“Be the person your dog thinks you are—except maybe not on Monday.” — Unknown
“I work well under pressure. But I’d work a lot better if I didn’t have to work on Monday.” — Unknown
“Some people make things happen, some watch things happen, and some don’t realize things are happening because they’ve hit the snooze button one too many times.” — Unknown
Quotes for the Perpetually Exhausted
“I haven’t had my coffee yet. Don’t make me kill you.” — Unknown
“Running on caffeine, dry shampoo, and the hope this day ends quickly.” — Unknown
“My bed and I are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.” — Unknown
“Monday: The reason I need three naps before lunch.” — Unknown
“This too shall pass. Like a kidney stone. On a Monday.” — Unknown
“My spirit animal is a sloth. Especially on Mondays.” — Unknown
“Do I look like I rise and grind? I barely rise.” — Unknown
“I woke up, I showed up. Let’s not ask for miracles.” — Unknown
“Monday energy level: Somewhere between ‘ugh’ and ‘please no.’” — Unknown
“If sleep is a skill, I should be CEO by now.” — Unknown
“I’m on my third cup of coffee, and I’m still pretending to be awake.” — Unknown
“I need six more hours of sleep and no responsibilities.” — Unknown
“Is it just me or does the coffee not kick in fast enough on Mondays?” — Unknown
“Napping is a skill I’ve perfected, especially on Mondays.” — Unknown
“The only thing that gets me through Monday is the promise of a nap later.” — Unknown
“Monday is a reminder that I haven’t slept enough, ever.” — Unknown
“I am fully caffeinated and still exhausted. What’s the deal, Monday?” — Unknown
“Why is it that my bed looks so much more inviting on Monday morning?” — Unknown
“I wish I could be a bear and just hibernate until Thursday.” — Unknown
“I woke up with no energy, but at least I’m awake. Barely.” — Unknown
“Monday’s forecast: 100% chance of needing a nap.” — Unknown
“My motivation this Monday is as low as my energy levels.” — Unknown
Procrastination Nation
“Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.” — Unknown
“Why do today what you can pretend you’ll do tomorrow?” — Unknown
“To-do list: 1. Drink coffee. 2. Avoid everything else.” — Unknown
“I like long walks… away from my responsibilities.” — Unknown
“Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.” — Don Marquis
“I’m not lazy. I’m on energy-saving mode.” — Unknown
“My goals for Monday are the same as last Monday. And the one before that.” — Unknown
“Let’s circle back to that… never.” — Unknown
“Monday: When doing the bare minimum feels like climbing Everest.” — Unknown
“Procrastinators unite… tomorrow.” — Unknown
“I was going to be productive today, but then I got distracted by the idea of not being productive.” — Unknown
“I’ll get to that task when I feel like it… probably never.” — Unknown
“Procrastination is my cardio, and my to-do list is the treadmill.” — Unknown
“There are two kinds of people in the world: those who procrastinate and those who lie about not procrastinating.” — Unknown
“The sooner you realize procrastination is your best friend, the better.” — Unknown
“I think I’ll procrastinate until the deadline is so close it’s practically on top of me.” — Unknown
“I’ll do it tomorrow… or maybe never. Who knows?” — Unknown
“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” — Douglas Adams
“Procrastination: because tomorrow is always a better day to do everything.” — Unknown
“I swear I work better under pressure. But right now, I’m not feeling it.” — Unknown
“I’m not avoiding work; I’m just engaging in some pre-work self-care.” — Unknown
“The best time to start was yesterday. The second best time is… tomorrow.” — Unknown
Monday According to Pop Culture
Funny Lines from Famous Folks & Fiction
“I hate Mondays. You can’t trust a day that starts with ‘Mon’.” — Garfield
“Mondays are the potholes in the road of life.” — Tom Wilson
“Even my coffee needs coffee on a Monday.” — Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
“So… it’s Monday. And I’m still fabulous.” — Beyoncé (if not, she should have)
“There should be a holiday between Sunday and Monday.” — Unknown
“Alexa, skip to Friday.” — Everyone
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.” — Unknown
“I love Mondays. Said no one ever.” — Unknown
“On Monday mornings, I am dedicated to the cause of coffee.” — Unknown
“The only thing worse than a Monday is a Monday without Wi-Fi.” — Unknown
“Monday is the day that my bed and I have a disagreement.” — Unknown
“Monday. The day I realize how much I love my weekend.” — Unknown
“Mondays are like math: I don’t know how to solve them, but I have to try.” — Unknown
“Why do I always feel like Monday is a test, and I’m failing?” — Unknown
“Mondays are like getting up for a 6 am flight, but you’re still in the wrong time zone.” — Unknown
“Monday is the day I’m 90% coffee and 10% regret.” — Unknown
“Monday: Because apparently, I have to go to work.” — Unknown
“It’s Monday, so I’m pretending I’m working until I hit snooze again.” — Unknown
“Monday is like a math problem: you solve it, and then it’s the weekend again!” — Unknown
“I would love to skip Monday, but then I’d have to deal with Tuesday.” — Unknown
“Monday mornings are the worst. Who even thought of this?” — Unknown
“Monday: the only thing that stands between me and the weekend.” — Unknown
Keep the Laughs Coming
“Rise and whine. It’s Monday, after all.”
“Can I get a refund on this day?”
“The grind never stops. But I do. Often.”
“Let’s not confuse my ‘awake’ with ‘functional.’”
“Current status: Mentally on Sunday.”
“Monday motivation? More like Monday memeing.”
“Is it Friday yet? No? Then I’m not interested.”
“Monday is basically my villain origin story.”
“The only running I do on Mondays is from my responsibilities.”
“Please send help. And snacks. Mostly snacks.”
“I’m pretty sure my coffee is working harder than I am today.”
“Mondays are like that awkward conversation you have to have with someone you don’t really know.” — Unknown
“Monday’s forecast: 100% chance of needing more coffee.” — Unknown
“If Monday had a face, I’d punch it.” — Unknown
“Monday: The day I reconsider my life choices… all over again.” — Unknown
“I’m not a morning person, or an afternoon person. But Monday? I’m definitely not that person.” — Unknown
“Monday mornings are a reminder that ‘I’ll start my diet tomorrow’ was a lie.” — Unknown
“Monday: when coffee is my only friend.” — Unknown
“Can we just fast forward to Friday? I’m already over this week.” — Unknown
“Monday’s goal: Get through the day without napping. Spoiler: It’s not going well.” — Unknown
“My Monday mood is a mixture of tired and I-can’t-even.” — Unknown
“Monday is like a math problem: you don’t want to solve it, but you have to.” — Unknown
Office Life Madness
“Replying to emails on Monday should be illegal.”
“Work hard so you can confuse everyone at the office.”
“If Zoom meetings are the future, I want out.”
“The only thing I’ve mastered on Monday is minimizing windows fast.”
“Spreadsheet: 1, Me: 0.”
“Is it just me, or does every Monday feel like a new level of chaos?” — Unknown
“I need a 5-minute break… from my 5-minute break.” — Unknown
“Monday meetings are just an excuse to drink coffee and pretend to be productive.” — Unknown
“My office chair is my second home. I don’t love it, but I don’t want to leave either.” — Unknown
“On Mondays, my keyboard feels like an instrument of torture.” — Unknown
“I have a PhD in ignoring emails until I absolutely have to respond.” — Unknown
“Monday is when you spend more time pretending to work than actually working.” — Unknown
“It’s Monday. Time to feign interest in everything.” — Unknown
“When you hear ‘Let’s touch base after the meeting’ on a Monday, it’s your cue to mentally check out.” — Unknown
“Does the workday have to start at 9 am, though? Could we delay it for 3 more hours?” — Unknown
“I don’t hate my job. I just hate the people who are awake before 10 am.” — Unknown
“Can someone explain why it feels like Monday lasts longer than the rest of the week combined?” — Unknown
“Monday: the day I master the art of faking productivity.” — Unknown
“I didn’t choose the 9-5 life. The 9-5 life chose me.” — Unknown
“Who needs productivity when you’ve got coffee and avoidance techniques?” — Unknown
“Monday: When checking your email feels like a full workout.” — Unknown
“I wish the office had a ‘Snooze’ button like my alarm clock.” — Unknown
Food is the Only Reason I’m Still Here
“Surviving Monday one snack at a time.”
“Coffee: because adulting is hard.”
“Lunch is my love language.”
“If I don’t get a snack by 10 am, I might actually start growling at people.” — Unknown
“Monday morning motivation: find the best snack in the office kitchen.” — Unknown
“I work hard so I can eat well. Especially on Mondays.” — Unknown
“The only reason I’m still here is because of the snack stash.” — Unknown
“I can’t adult today without my coffee and my lunch break.” — Unknown
“I’d love to chat, but my sandwich is calling my name.” — Unknown
“Food is the only thing that makes Monday bearable.” — Unknown
“I have two speeds on Monday: coffee and food.” — Unknown
“Monday calories don’t count, right?” — Unknown
“Lunch: because it’s too early for wine but too late for breakfast.” — Unknown
“My workday goes as follows: coffee, food, more coffee, and then pretend to be productive.” — Unknown
“Monday’s only redeeming quality? The food.” — Unknown
“A well-timed snack is the only thing keeping me from losing it today.” — Unknown
“The best part of working on Monday? The lunch break.” — Unknown
“Without coffee, Monday wouldn’t even exist for me.” — Unknown
“I plan my entire Monday around what’s for lunch.” — Unknown
“When in doubt, snack it out.” — Unknown
“My mood improves drastically after lunch on Mondays.” — Unknown
“The most important meeting on Monday? The one at the coffee machine.” — Unknown
Mental Gymnastics
“Do I have to think today?”
“Mentally I’m still hitting snooze.”
“Monday’s brain function is brought to you by caffeine and denial.” — Unknown
“My brain hasn’t processed the fact that it’s Monday yet.” — Unknown
“I’m trying to think, but my brain is stuck on ‘vacation mode.’” — Unknown
“Monday mornings: where thoughts are few and motivation is nonexistent.” — Unknown
“Do I need to solve this problem now, or can I just avoid it for a while?” — Unknown
“My brain is still buffering from the weekend.” — Unknown
“I don’t need coffee, I need a vacation.” — Unknown
“How am I supposed to solve problems when my brain is still recovering from the weekend?” — Unknown
“Monday mornings are proof that my brain should not work on Mondays.” — Unknown
“Can I just make ‘sleep’ my Monday to-do list and call it a win?” — Unknown
“I’m just waiting for my brain to boot up this Monday.” — Unknown
“I don’t think I have enough mental capacity for Monday.” — Unknown
“Monday morning brain: 0. Coffee: 1.” — Unknown
“The hardest part of Monday is finding my brain.” — Unknown
“Do I even know how to do my job anymore? Monday is tough.” — Unknown
“It’s Monday. My brain is already on Friday.” — Unknown
“My brain is like a car stuck in first gear on Monday mornings.” — Unknown
“I’m trying to think, but my brain’s still on weekend mode.” — Unknown
“I would love to be productive today, but my brain’s on strike.” — Unknown
“Monday: the day I hit ‘snooze’ on my brain and everything else.” — Unknown
Self-Care and Sarcasm
“Self-care is avoiding people on Mondays.”
“Treat yourself. With a nap.”
“My form of self-care is hiding from the world on Monday.” — Unknown
“Monday: The day I forget all my self-care routines.” — Unknown
“Self-care tip: Pretend Monday doesn’t exist.” — Unknown
“I’m practicing self-care by not engaging with anyone until after coffee.” — Unknown
“I don’t need therapy. I need a nap.” — Unknown
“Monday’s self-care routine: Stay in bed until noon.” — Unknown
“My Monday self-care involves avoiding all human interaction.” — Unknown
“Self-care for me on Monday is an extreme form of denial.” — Unknown
“Napping is a form of self-care that should be practiced regularly, especially on Mondays.” — Unknown
“Monday’s self-care tip: Pretend you’re still on the weekend.” — Unknown
“On Mondays, my only self-care is turning off my alarm clock and ignoring all responsibilities.” — Unknown
“I can’t function on Monday until I’ve had my 10th ‘self-care’ coffee.” — Unknown
“Self-care: Staying in bed as long as humanly possible on Monday.” — Unknown
“I consider staying away from people my Monday self-care strategy.” — Unknown
“Taking a break from Monday feels like an act of self-care.” — Unknown
“Monday’s self-care: Hide from the world until at least noon.” — Unknown
“I’m not lazy, I’m just practicing self-care, especially on Mondays.” — Unknown
“My Monday self-care plan: Stay in denial as long as possible.” — Unknown
“Self-care on Mondays? More like ‘hide from life and nap’.” — Unknown
“I’m going to treat myself by doing absolutely nothing on Monday.” — Unknown
Final Thoughts—Because You’ve Earned a Break
That’s the wrap-up of 240 Hilarious Monday Motivation Quotes for the Chronically Unmotivated. Hope you enjoyed it. Don’t forget to share them with your friends!
