Be honest, we all know that life can be really heavy sometimes, and all we can do is find ways to laugh it out. No matter how hard our life gets, finding time to use humor is really a good move. Here, we’ve collected 85 funny quotes laughing so hard.
Let’s explore it!
Short and Snort-Worthy One-Liners
“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.” — Unknown
“My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.” — Unknown
“I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.” — Unknown
“If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.” — Unknown
“I’m not clumsy. It’s just the floor hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.” — Unknown
“I followed a diet, but it didn’t follow me back.” — Unknown
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a taco.” — Unknown
“I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.” — Unknown
“Some people graduate with honors. I am just honored to graduate.” — Unknown
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” — Unknown
Quotes That’ll Make You Wheeze-Laugh
“Why do they allow ‘silent’ and ‘listen’ to be anagrams? Clearly not meant for me.” — Unknown
“The early bird can have the worm, because worms are gross and I like sleep.” — Unknown
“Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!” — Unknown
“I’m not fat, I’m just easier to see.” — Unknown
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.” — Unknown
“I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.” — Unknown
“My favorite workout is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch.” — Unknown
“A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.” — Unknown
“I run on caffeine, chaos, and inappropriate thoughts.” — Unknown
“I clean out my fridge and suddenly remember why I fear commitment.” — Unknown
Relatable Chaos in Quote Form
“Adulting is soup… and I’m a fork.” — Unknown
“I whisper ‘What the hell?’ to myself at least 20 times a day.” — Unknown
“Sometimes I shock myself with the smart stuff I say. Other times I try to get out of the car with my seatbelt on.” — Unknown
“I’m not sleeping. I’m just resting my eyes.” — Every adult ever
“You ever cook something so good you forget you’re broke for five minutes?” — Unknown
“Being an adult is just Googling stuff and pretending you knew it all along.” — Unknown
“I don’t rise and shine—I caffeinate and hope for the best.” — Unknown
“That moment when you spell a word so wrong even autocorrect is like, ‘I got nothing, bro.'” — Unknown
“Sometimes I look around and wonder… how did everyone get their life together? Then I remember Instagram is fake.” — Unknown
“I do all my own stunts—but never on purpose.” — Unknown
Relationship Humor, Because Love Is… a Mess
“My partner said I never listen… or something like that.” — Unknown
“Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.” — Pauline Thomason
“Relationships are just two people constantly asking each other what they want to eat.” — Unknown
“If love is the answer, can you rephrase the question?” — Lily Tomlin
“You can’t put a price on love, but you can on all the snacks I bring to the couch.” — Unknown
“I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.” — Unknown
“You know it’s true love when they let you have the fries you said you didn’t want.” — Unknown
“Marriage lets you annoy one special person for a lifetime.” — Unknown
“Nothing says ‘I love you’ like ignoring each other while on your phones.” — Unknown
“My love language is sarcasm and snacks.” — Unknown
Work, School, and All the Other Traps of Adulthood
“I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.” — Unknown
“Teamwork makes the dream work—until someone messes it up.” — Unknown
“Why do they call it a ‘deadline’ when it feels more like a ‘death wish’?” — Unknown
“School taught me how to do math problems. Life taught me how to use a calculator.” — Unknown
“Another meeting that could’ve been an email.” — Everyone, every day
“I’m great at my job when I’m not doing it.” — Unknown
“I have an emotional support coffee mug.” — Unknown
“Work smarter, not harder. Or better yet—just work less.” — Unknown
“I’m not late. I’m on my own timeline.” — Unknown
“Every ‘brief’ Zoom call lasts 40 minutes and destroys a bit of my soul.” — Unknown
“If Wi-Fi was a person, I’d marry it.” — Unknown
“Social media is just yelling into the void and hoping someone likes it.” — Unknown
“I have more conversations in memes than in real life.” — Unknown
“Before Wi-Fi, people had hobbies. Now we refresh.” — Unknown
“My toxic trait is thinking I can be productive while scrolling.” — Unknown
“How to win an argument online: you don’t.” — Unknown
“If I don’t post it, did it even happen?” — Every influencer ever
“Instagram vs. reality: my life is 80% filters and 20% pizza grease.” — Unknown
“Wi-Fi went down for five minutes, so I had to talk to my family. They seem nice.” — Unknown
“I’m not addicted to my phone. It’s addicted to me.” — Unknown
Food Is My Love Language
“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.” — Unknown
“Chocolate doesn’t ask questions. Chocolate understands.” — Unknown
“I cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.” — W.C. Fields
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.” — Unknown
“Running late because of snacks is a valid excuse.” — Unknown
“You say ‘hangry’ like it’s a bad thing.” — Unknown
“I have abs… they’re just hidden under this layer of cake.” — Unknown
“Salad: a meal that makes you sad and hungry again in 10 minutes.” — Unknown
“My hobbies include eating and complaining that I’m full.” — Unknown
“I tried cooking something healthy and now the smoke detector won’t shut up.” — Unknown
“I smile because I have no idea what’s going on.” — Unknown
“If karma doesn’t hit you, I gladly will.” — Unknown
“I’m not weird. I’m a limited edition.” — Unknown
“I put the ‘pro’ in procrastinate.” — Unknown
“My brain has too many tabs open.” — Unknown
“Do I run? Yes. Out of patience, sanity, and money.” — Unknown
“Sorry I’m late. I didn’t want to come.” — Unknown
“Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is stupidity.” — Unknown
“My dog gets more steps than I do. And he sleeps 20 hours a day.” — Unknown
“I’m 100% that person who trips over flat surfaces.” — Unknown
Bonus Five for Maximum Laugh Damage
“Apparently you can’t use ‘be right back’ when you’re never coming back.” — Unknown
“I don’t need therapy. I just need a nap and six pizzas.” — Unknown
“Plot twist: I have no idea what I’m doing.” — Unknown
“I tried being normal once. Worst two minutes ever.” — Unknown
“Not to brag, but I just completed a puzzle in under a week… and it said 2-4 years on the box.” — Unknown
Did you laugh while scrolling through this collection? I hope you enjoy your few minutes here. Don’t forget to share the quote that you laughed at from the list? Or save this post for the next moment you need it.
That’s the end of our collection of 85 funny quotes laughing so hard.
