Let’s be real: life can indeed get overwhelming, weird, and messy. Between missed alarms, group chats you didn’t ask to be part of, and a messy room, we all need moments to laugh once in a while. Here we’ve curated 75 funny quotes just for you.
Let’s explore this
Funny Quotes About Life That Feel a Little Too Real
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” – Mallory Hopkins
“Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.” – Unknown
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.” – Bill Murray
“When nothing goes right, go left.” – Unknown
“Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” – Tom Lehrer
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
“Why be moody when you can shake your booty?” – Unknown
“I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” – Chandler Bing, Friends
“Age is just a number. In my case, a really high one.” – Unknown
“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Unknown
“Why do they allow ‘silent’ and ‘listen’ to be anagrams? Sounds suspicious.” – Unknown
“Life doesn’t have any hands, but it sure can slap you sometimes.” – Unknown
“Don’t worry if plan A doesn’t work out. There are 25 more letters in the alphabet.” – Claire Cook
“Sometimes I shock myself with the smart stuff I say and do. Other times, I try to get out of the car with my seatbelt on.” – Unknown
Funny Quotes About Adulting That Hit Hard
“Being an adult is just walking around wondering what you forgot to do.” – Unknown
“I’m not lazy. I’m on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown
“Adulthood is like looking both ways before crossing the street and then getting hit by an airplane.” – Unknown
“I wish everything was as easy as getting fat.” – Unknown
“Sometimes I wonder how I’m still alive considering the things I’ve done trying to ‘save money.’” – Unknown
“I used to be cool. Now I argue with my GPS.” – Unknown
“I dusted once. It came back. I’m not falling for that again.” – Unknown
“I like long romantic walks to the fridge.” – Unknown
“Adulthood is basically losing socks and gaining weight.” – Unknown
“Who needs a degree in finance when you can just panic every time you check your bank account?” – Unknown
“I have too many tabs open — in my browser and in my brain.” – Unknown
“I cleaned my house yesterday. Sorry you missed it. It was beautiful for that 4 minutes.” – Unknown
“Grocery shopping is the adult version of trick-or-treating.” – Unknown
“Laundry: the never-ending story.” – Unknown
“My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.” – Unknown
Sarcastic Quotes for When You Just Can’t Anymore
“I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown
“If I was a bird, I know who I’d poop on.” – Unknown
“I’m not bossy. I just have better ideas.” – Unknown
“Tell me how I have too much attitude while I sit here being fabulous.” – Unknown
“Don’t follow me. I’m lost too.” – Unknown
“Cancel my subscription — I’m done with your issues.” – Unknown
“If you ran like your mouth, you’d be in great shape.” – Unknown
“Why chase you when I’m the catch?” – Unknown
“You’re not a hot mess. You’re just spicy with poor decision-making skills.” – Unknown
“Don’t worry, the first 5 days after the weekend are the hardest.” – Unknown
“Sarcasm is my cardio.” – Unknown
“Please cancel my 3 PM. I’ve already mentally quit for the day.” – Unknown
“Do I run? Yes… out of patience, sanity, and money.” – Unknown
“Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?” – Unknown
“I’m not ignoring you. I’m just giving you time to reflect on what you said.” – Unknown
Funny Quotes About Food, Sleep, and Other Sacred Rituals
“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.” – Unknown
“Love fades, pizza is forever.” – Unknown
“I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.” – Unknown
“Sleep is my drug… my bed is my dealer and my alarm clock is the police.” – Unknown
“I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need coffee and a donut.” – Unknown
“If we are what we eat, then I’m fast, cheap, and easy.” – Unknown
“I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope for the best.” – Unknown
“You can’t make everyone happy. You are not pizza.” – Unknown
“I hate when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.” – Unknown
“Nap all day, sleep all night, party never. #adulting” – Unknown
“I cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.” – W.C. Fields
“My hobbies include eating and complaining I’m gaining weight.” – Unknown
“There’s no ‘we’ in fries.” – Unknown
“I whisper ‘what the…’ to myself at least 20 times a day.” – Unknown
“I’m not hungry. I’m bored. But I’ll eat anyway just to be safe.” – Unknown
Random Funny Quotes That Will Catch You Off Guard
“If Monday had a face, I’d punch it.” – Unknown
“You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.” – Unknown
“I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.” – Unknown
“Don’t give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping.” – Unknown
“Some people graduate with honors. I am just honored to graduate.” – Unknown
“My mood depends on how good my hair looks.” – Unknown
“There should be a calorie refund for things that tasted gross.” – Unknown
“I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.” – Unknown
“Don’t take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.” – Elbert Hubbard
“They say money talks. Mine just waves goodbye.” – Unknown
“Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.” – Unknown
“I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.” – Unknown
“Your secrets are safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me them.” – Unknown
“If karma doesn’t hit you, I gladly will.” – Unknown
“You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.” – Dave Barry
Final Laugh: Which One Was Your Favorite?
If you laugh a bit while reading this, we’re happy. Humor is something that make us move forward everyday. That’s the wrap-up of our collection of 75 funny quotes for you.
So go ahead and share your favorite quote from the list to someone or save this post for your next moments.
And remember: you’re not alone — we’re all a little ridiculous.
