Monday is indeed the most powerful villain of the week. Who wants to reach Monday? It’s the one we always do on Monday. Anyway, here we’ve curated 75 funny Monday quotes to turn the pain into punchlines.
Let’s dive into the chaos of Monday with laughter.
Funny Quotes About Monday Mornings
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.” — Steven Wright
“Dear Monday: Go step on a Lego.” — Unknown
“Monday: The moment when Sunday stops feeling like a weekend.” — Unknown
“Mondays are the start of the workweek which offer new beginnings 52 times a year!” — David Dweck
“There should be a holiday for people who have to go to work on Mondays. Oh wait—that’s called Friday.” — Unknown
“If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where I can return Mondays.” — Unknown
“Monday morning coffee is just a survival ritual.” — Unknown
“You know it’s Monday when you wake up and your soul hurts.” — Unknown
“That awkward moment when Monday hits you like a door you didn’t see.” — Unknown
“The best part of Monday? When it’s over.” — Unknown
Sarcastic Monday Motivation Quotes
“It’s Monday… time to pretend I care.” — Unknown
“New week. Same nonsense.” — Unknown
“Rise and whine. It’s Monday.” — Unknown
“Just another manic Monday. Wish it was Sunday.” — The Bangles
“Monday: Proof that weekend endings are emotionally damaging.” — Unknown
“Oh look, it’s Monday. Again. How original.” — Unknown
“Mondays are fine. It’s my job that’s the problem.” — Unknown
“Bring it on, Monday! Said no one ever.” — Unknown
“Monday’s motto: Fake it until Friday.” — Unknown
“If Monday were a person, I’d file a restraining order.” — Unknown
Relatable Work-Life Monday Quotes
“Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so close to Monday?” — Unknown
“If Monday had a face, I’d punch it.” — Unknown
“My weekend was perfect until I remembered Monday existed.” — Unknown
“Me on Monday: too tired to function, too broke to quit.” — Unknown
“Working on Mondays should be optional. Like pants.” — Unknown
“Monday is like that guy who shows up uninvited and eats all your snacks.” — Unknown
“Boss: How was your weekend? Me: Too short. Next question.” — Unknown
“I survive Mondays by pretending they’re just ‘pre-Tuesdays.’” — Unknown
“I whisper ‘Why?’ to myself at least 20 times every Monday.” — Unknown
“Every Monday I feel like I deserve a raise… just for showing up.” — Unknown
Coffee + Monday = Survival Quotes
“Monday without coffee is just a crime.” — Unknown
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.” — Unknown
“Espresso yourself. It’s Monday.” — Unknown
“I like my coffee black and my Mondays cancelled.” — Unknown
“Caffeine and sarcasm: my Monday essentials.” — Unknown
“I’m not fully human until my second cup of coffee on Monday.” — Unknown
“Monday: Sponsored by coffee, chaos, and questionable decisions.” — Unknown
“This Monday I’m fueled by coffee, spite, and glitter.” — Unknown
“The only thing keeping me from quitting today is coffee and rent.” — Unknown
“Coffee: because adulting on Mondays is illegal without it.” — Unknown
Short & Snappy Monday One-Liners
“Hello, Monday. We meet again.” — Unknown
“Currently holding Monday hostage until it behaves.” — Unknown
“Monday blues? More like Monday booooos.” — Unknown
“Ctrl + Alt + Del Monday, please.” — Unknown
“Survived Monday. Barely.” — Unknown
“Monday: The hangover from the weekend you didn’t drink.” — Unknown
“Monday stole my weekend happiness.” — Unknown
“I’m allergic to Mondays.” — Unknown
“Alexa, skip to Friday.” — Unknown
“Mondays are proof the universe has a dark sense of humor.” — Unknown
Quotes That Say “Nope!” to Monday
“I don’t Monday. I barely Sunday.” — Unknown
“On Mondays, my spirit animal is a sloth on strike.” — Unknown
“I gave Monday a chance. It failed me.” — Unknown
“Out of bed? On a Monday? Let’s not get crazy.” — Unknown
“Mondays are like math. I hate both.” — Unknown
“I don’t always dread Mondays. Just every week.” — Unknown
“Monday checklist: Cry. Coffee. Cry again.” — Unknown
“Don’t talk to me until Tuesday.” — Unknown
“I demand a weekend recount. Monday must be a mistake.” — Unknown
“Shhh… Don’t say the M-word.” — Unknown
Famous (and Funny) People on Mondays
“The worst part of my Mondays is hearing you complain about yours.” — Unknown
“Mondays are the potholes in the road of life.” — Tom Wilson
“When life gives you Mondays, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.” — Ella Woodward
“Monday is for people with a mission. Not for those who binge-watched Netflix until 2AM.” — Unknown
“Your Monday mood doesn’t define your whole week. Just the first three hours.” — Unknown
“If Monday had a theme song, it would be a sad trombone solo.” — Unknown
“Monday: A reminder that adulting is not optional.” — Unknown
“I want to be like Monday—ignored, cursed at, and somehow still around.” — Unknown
“Monday is the day my coffee needs coffee.” — Unknown
“I wish Mondays were fictional characters. So I could write them out of my story.” — Unknown
When Words Fail, Just Scream Internally
“The best cure for Monday? Pretend it’s still Sunday.” — Unknown
“Warning: Monday approaching. Shield your joy.” — Unknown
“On Mondays, my hobbies include not working and resenting everything.” — Unknown
“Monday’s just Friday’s evil twin.” — Unknown
“My Monday mood is sponsored by ‘Nope.’” — Unknown
Final Thoughts: Laugh, Don’t Cry (Too Much)
Monday isn’t going anywhere. It’s like that one relative who overstays their welcome. But when all else fails, laugh. That’s the end of today’s collection of 75 funny Monday quotes
So bookmark this page, share it with your fellow Monday warriors, and repeat after us:
“Mondays may be brutal, but at least they come with memes and coffee.”
