Hello there! Let’s be real – holidays aren’t supposed to be perfect, they need to be full of memories over the course of Christmas this year. If you’re looking for perfect quotes to write in your gift card or want to text someone, or use as a caption for a post on social media, you’re in the right place. In this post, we’ve gathered over 50 Funny, Relatable Christmas Quotes for Anyone
Funny Christmas Quotes About Family
“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” — Andy Borowitz
“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.” — Larry Wilde
“Christmas is a magical time of year… until you have to see your relatives.” — Unknown
“My family told me to stop telling Christmas jokes… but I told them I couldn’t help my ‘elf.” — Unknown
“Nothing brings a family together like a great meal… followed by arguments, chaos, and someone snoring on the couch.” — Unknown
“The Christmas spirit is when your family sends you gift cards because they don’t know you anymore.” — Unknown
“Christmas: the only time of year where too much food and too much family is considered completely normal.” — Unknown
“My family is so competitive… even the gift opening turns into a tournament.” — Unknown
“Sending Christmas cards and pretending we’re all normal for one photo.” — Unknown
“Holidays: because visiting family is cheaper than therapy.” — Unknown
Christmas Quotes About Gift Giving
“One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas Day.” — Andy Rooney
“Christmas is the season when you buy gifts for people you hardly know with money you barely have.” — Unknown
“I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.” — Henny Youngman
“Nothing says Christmas like trying to guess what’s inside the box you wrapped yourself last night.” — Unknown
“Wrapping presents at midnight teaches you how creative you can be with tape and desperation.” — Unknown
“The best Christmas gift is… receipts. Lots and lots of receipts.” — Unknown
“Gift shopping for adults: What do they want? Gift shopping for kids: What won’t kill them?” — Unknown
“Dear Santa, define ‘good.’” — Unknown
“My favorite part of Christmas is the presents. I mean… the presence. Totally meant presence.” — Unknown
“Christmas shopping rule: If you still like them after the mall crowd, they deserve a gift.” — Unknown
Funny Santa & Elf Quotes
“Santa Claus has the right idea—visit people once a year.” — Victor Borge
“Be nice to your kids this year. They decide your nursing home.” — Unknown
“Dear Santa, I can explain…” — Unknown
“I’m not saying I’m an elf… but I do like snacks and avoiding responsibilities.” — Unknown
“Santa saw your Instagram. You’re getting clothes for Christmas.” — Unknown
“Santa has reindeer. I have caffeine. We all need something to get us through Christmas.” — Unknown
“Santa is the only guy who can break into your house and leave things… and we thank him for it.” — Unknown
“Christmas calories don’t count — Santa said so.” — Unknown
“Santa works one day a year and still gets all the credit.” — Unknown
“Don’t blame the holidays. You were this lazy last year too — love, Santa.” — Unknown
Funny Christmas Quotes About Food
“Christmas is the season of peace and goodwill… but also cookies. Mostly cookies.” — Unknown
“I’m only eating Christmas cookies so Santa feels supported.” — Unknown
“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.” — Unknown
“Christmas dinner: where carbs, sugar, and butter all hold hands.” — Unknown
“My favorite Christmas tradition is eating. Just… eating.” — Unknown
“Christmas: the only holiday where eating pie for breakfast is acceptable.” — Unknown
“I’m on a diet. But during Christmas, that diet is mostly decoration.” — Unknown
“My Christmas wish? To eat without my jeans judging me.” — Unknown
“The true spirit of Christmas is eating twice your body weight.” — Unknown
“The Christmas food coma should be a recognized medical condition.” — Unknown
Holiday Mood & Relatable Life Quotes
“Christmas is a time when everyone wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.” — Phyllis Diller
“I’m only a morning person on December 25th.” — Unknown
“Christmas: the time of year when you buy new PJs to sit on the couch all day.” — Unknown
“The holiday season: because nothing says joy like last-minute deadlines.” — Unknown
“My Christmas mood is somewhere between ‘festive’ and ‘leave me alone.’” — Unknown
“Alexa, skip to Christmas vacation.” — Unknown
“If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by New Year’s.” — Unknown
“December feels like the boss level of the whole year.” — Unknown
“My bank account and Christmas shopping have a toxic relationship.” — Unknown
“It’s not Christmas until you hear Mariah Carey and immediately panic about gifts.” — Unknown
That’s the wrap-up of our collection of 50 Funny Relatable Christmas Quotes for Anyone. I hope you found the quotes that you want to use this Christmas to make your loved one smile to their heart’s content. And don’t forget to save this and use it whenever necessary. Till Then, Merry Christmas!
