Sometimes we get stuck starting a conversation, and laughter is something that we need to break the ice. Looking for a clever way to turn the awkward silence into a laughing and beautiful conversation. Read this collection of 55+ Funny Quotes About Life That Will Make You Laugh.
Ready to upgrade your small talk with big laughs? Let’s dive in!
Classic One-Liners That Never Fail
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” — Anonymous
“My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.” — Unknown
“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.” — Rodney Dangerfield
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” — Mallory Hopkins
“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.” — Anonymous
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” — Robin Williams
“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” — Steven Wright
“Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.” — Anonymous
“I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.” — Unknown
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to take the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
Witty Quotes for Clever Comebacks
“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” — Oscar Wilde
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” — Steve Martin
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” — Earl Wilson
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” — Jim Carrey
“The trouble with having an open mind is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” — Terry Pratchett
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.” — Anonymous
“If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.” — Derek Bok
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” — A.A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh)
“The road to success is always under construction.” — Lily Tomlin
Quirky Quotes That Are Relatable AF
“I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so we’re done.” — Unknown
“I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” — Chandler Bing (Friends)
“I clean when I’m angry. So if you show up and my house is sparkling, tread carefully.” — Unknown
“My bed and I love each other, only the alarm clock comes between us.” — Anonymous
“I love long walks—especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” — Noel Coward
“If Monday had a face, I’d punch it.” — Unknown
“Who needs a six-pack when you’ve got snacks?” — Anonymous
“I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget all at the same time.” — Unknown
“My brain has too many tabs open.” — Internet Wisdom
“Yoga class? I thought you said pour a glass.” — Anonymous
Smooth Quotes for Easy Conversations
“Don’t worry if plan A doesn’t work out. There are 25 more letters in the alphabet.” — Claire Cook
“Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring. So I go back to being me.” — Ain Eineziz
“If life gives you lemons, wait for tequila.” — Unknown
“Not all who wander are lost. Some are just avoiding the group chat.” — Pinterest Proverb
“Brains are awesome. I wish everybody had one.” — Anonymous
“Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.” — Unknown
“I didn’t fall. I was just testing gravity… again.” — Unknown
“Sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said.” — Unknown
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” — Oscar Wilde
“The only thing I throw back on Thursdays is snacks.” — Anonymous
Quotes Perfect for Text, DM, or Group Chats
“Can we skip to the part of life where I’m rich and traveling the world?” — Unknown
“I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut.” — Instagram Wisdom
“If karma doesn’t hit you, I gladly will.” — Unknown
“Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a beautiful day.” — Unknown
“Texting is fine. Calling is okay. But if you show up at my door unannounced, I will stare at you through the window.” — Anonymous
“Let’s taco ‘bout how guac is extra but so am I.” — Internet Memes
“You can’t make everyone happy—you’re not pizza.” — Anonymous
“I whisper ‘WTF’ to myself at least 20 times a day.” — Relatable Twitter User
“I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.” — Unknown
“Let’s agree to laugh first, and ask questions later.” — Me, probably
“If I were a superhero, my power would be overthinking everything.” — Anonymous
“I finally realized people are prisoners of their phones… that’s why it’s called a ‘cell’.” — Unknown
“Sorry for being late. I got caught up enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.” — Unknown
“I’m on my way. Just kidding, I’m still in bed.” — Unknown
“Caution: I know karaoke and I’m not afraid to use it.” — Anonymous
Final Thoughts: Share a Laugh, Spark a Connection
Whether you’re texting your colleague or breaking the ice on a first date, when the brain goes blank, a well-timed funny quote will surely help in saving the awkward silence. So we can agree that laughter is something that connects faster than the Wi-Fi signal.
That’s the wrap-up of our collection of 55+ Funny Quotes About Life That Will Make You Laugh.
Share your favorite quote with your favorite people; it’s free.
