If you have ever had a dog as a pet or been licked by one unexpectedly, you must have known how hilariously weird they can be. From the starring competition to stealing socks, dogs have mastered the art of being cute and funny. Here we’ve curated 40 funny quotes about dogs
Let’s dive into the fluff and fetch some laughs, shall we?
Short & Funny Dog Quotes
“Dogs never bite me. Just humans.” – Marilyn Monroe
“Happiness is a warm puppy.” – Charles M. Schulz
“I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.” – Rita Rudner
“The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.” – Mark Twain
“Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.” – Roger Caras
“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.” – Josh Billings
“My fashion philosophy is, if you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.” – Elayne Boosler
“Every snack you make, every meal you bake… I’ll be watching you.” – Unknown
“Dogs are wise. They crawl away into a quiet corner and lick their wounds and do not rejoin the world until they are whole again.” – Agatha Christie
“Handle every situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.” – Unknown
Funny Dog Quotes About Personality
“If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.” – Will Rogers
“My little dog — a heartbeat at my feet.” – Edith Wharton
“If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving him only two of them.” – Phil Pastoret
“A well-trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.” – Helen Thomson
“Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: the mailman is not to be trusted.” – Sian Ford
“I work hard so my dog can have a better life.” – Unknown
“If your dog doesn’t like someone, you probably shouldn’t either.” – Unknown
“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” – Andy Rooney
“Some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the hydrant.” – Unknown
“Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.” – Kinky Friedman
Funny Dog Quotes About Life with Dogs
“Dogs are like potato chips — it’s hard to have just one.” – Unknown
“Everything I know, I learned from dogs.” – Nora Roberts
“No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich.” – Louis Sabin
“The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man’s.” – Mark Twain
“If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?” – Unknown
“You can trust your dog to guard your house but never your sandwich.” – Unknown
“If I could be half the person my dog is, I’d be twice the human I am.” – Charles Yu
“The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.” – Charles de Gaulle
“Dogs: because people suck.” – Unknown
“Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot little puppies.” – Gene Hill
Silly Dog Quotes to Share with Fellow Dog Lovers
“Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.” – Max Eastman
“Dogs are like kids — they don’t listen and they make a mess, but they make life worth living.” – Unknown
“A dog will teach you unconditional love. If you can have that in your life, things won’t be too bad.” – Robert Wagner
“My dog thinks I’m the best person in the world. I don’t argue with him.” – Unknown
“If my dog makes you uncomfortable, I’d be happy to lock you in the other room.” – Unknown
“The road to my heart is paved with paw prints.” – Unknown
“The world would be a nicer place if everyone had the ability to love as unconditionally as a dog.” – M.K. Clinton
“Dog hair is my glitter.” – Unknown
“I’m suspicious of people who don’t like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn’t like a person.” – Unknown
“The best therapist has fur and four legs.” – Unknown
Final Thoughts: Dogs Are Goofy, Gross, and Glorious
At the end of the day, they are weird like sniffing the butts of a stranger as a greeting, weird. But their enthusiasm, loyalty, and unconditional love with joy remind us to live in the moments and may be take a few more naps once in a while.
That’s the wrap-up of our collaboration of 40 funny quotes about dogs.
