Let’s be honest- working is sometimes a lot. Whether we’re clocking in from home or stuck in the cubicle jungle, the work is real and sometimes all we need is a good laugh. That’s why we’ve curated 170 Funny Quotes About Work That Will Make You Feel Seen.
So grab your coffee and read these hilarious one-liner quotes.
Funny Quotes About Work Mornings
“I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, and 4% Friday.” — Unknown
“Mondays are the start of the work week which offer new beginnings 52 times a year!” — David Dweck
“Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so close to Monday?” — Unknown
“Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.” — Glen Cook
“There should be a holiday dedicated to all the brave people who show up to work on Mondays.” — Unknown
“My boss told me to have a good day… so I went home.” — Unknown
“I can’t wait till Monday… said no one ever.” — Unknown
“If Monday had a face, I’d punch it.” — Unknown
“Success is waking up with a purpose. Or coffee. Probably coffee.” — Unknown
“Don’t mess with people who can start a Monday with a smile. They’ve clearly gone mad.” — Unknown
“The only reason I get out of bed is because coffee doesn’t bring itself to me.” — Unknown
“I’m not a morning person. Or a Monday person. Or a working person.” — Unknown
“Monday: the day I bravely face my inbox and instantly regret it.” — Unknown
“I whisper ‘just five more minutes’ to my alarm like it’s a sleep genie.” — Unknown
“Rise and grind? More like rise and whine.” — Unknown
“Coffee: because adulting starts way too early.” — Unknown
“I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks and naps.” — Unknown
“Monday mornings are proof that gravity is stronger at the beginning of the week.” — Unknown
“Me on Monday morning: still processing Sunday night’s existential crisis.” — Unknown
Office Humor You Can’t Make Up
“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” — Douglas Adams
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
“If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves.” — Lane Kirkland
“Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.” — Stephen Hawking (attributed)
“I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.” — Unknown
“Nothing ruins a Friday more than realizing it’s only Wednesday.” — Unknown
“I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.” — Unknown
“The reward for good work is more work.” — Unknown
“If you think your job is pointless, remember there’s someone making PowerPoint presentations for a living.” — Unknown
“The elevator to success is broken. Take the stairs… slowly… while scrolling memes.” — Unknown
“I’m not slacking off. I’m ‘strategically planning downtime.’” — Unknown
“A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered drawer.” — Unknown
“Email: the modern way to avoid direct human interaction.” — Unknown
“Some days, the best thing about my job is the chair swivels.” — Unknown
“I’m just here for the Wi-Fi and snacks.” — Unknown
“Office coffee: giving mediocrity a caffeine boost since forever.” — Unknown
“My job is secure. No one else wants it.” — Unknown
“Is it just me or does work interfere with life way too much?” — Unknown
“I didn’t choose the cubicle life. The cubicle life chose me.” — Unknown
“The most productive thing I’ve done today is figure out what to order for lunch.” — Unknown
“My favorite part of work is leaving.” — Unknown
Management, Meetings, and Mayhem
“Meetings are where minutes are kept and hours are lost.” — Unknown
“I survived another meeting that should have been an email.” — Unknown
“A conference call is the best way for a dozen people to say ‘bye’ 300 times.” — Unknown
“If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.” — Unknown
“The best part of working from home is that I can’t hear my manager micromanage.” — Unknown
“Boss: Can you stay late tonight? Me: I wasn’t planning on staying this late today.” — Unknown
“Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“Some people bring joy wherever they go. Others bring it whenever they go.” — Oscar Wilde
“A manager is someone who thinks that nine women can deliver a baby in one month.” — Fred Brooks
“Promotion means now you get paid to stress about everyone else’s job too.” — Unknown
“Visionary: someone who can see what’s not there and then blame you for not seeing it.” — Unknown
“Let’s take this offline = I have no clue what to say right now.” — Unknown
“Micromanagement: because what we really need is more hovering.” — Unknown
“A bad day at work is still better than a good day in a meeting.” — Unknown
“Remember when meetings were just emails with less drama?” — Unknown
“The more meetings we have, the less gets done—but at least we talked about it.” — Unknown
“Feedback session = 20 minutes of sugarcoated doom.” — Unknown
“My manager said ‘think outside the box’ so I quit the job.” — Unknown
“Success is when your boss doesn’t know what you do but still thinks you’re essential.” — Unknown
Work-Life Balance (Kind Of)
“Work-life balance is having your email on your phone and pretending it doesn’t exist after 6 p.m.” — Unknown
“I’m not lazy. I’m on energy-saving mode.” — Unknown
“My work-life balance is more work, less life.” — Unknown
“Retirement is when you stop living at work and start working at living.” — Unknown
“I wish I were as rich as my lifestyle makes me look on Instagram.” — Unknown
“I need six months of vacation, twice a year.” — Unknown
“Me trying to balance work, family, and self-care: laughs in overwhelmed.” — Unknown
“I’m not burned out, I’m just out of fuel, ideas, and patience.” — Unknown
“Self-care is ignoring emails until they disappear on their own.” — Unknown
“They say do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life. Lies. I love sleeping.” — Unknown
“My version of work-life balance is working from bed.” — Unknown
“The grind never stops… except when I nap.” — Unknown
“Balancing work and life like a toddler with a plate of spaghetti.” — Unknown
“I work to live, but it’s starting to feel like I live at work.” — Unknown
“My calendar says ‘available,’ but my soul says ‘try again later.’” — Unknown
“Weekdays are for working. Weekends are for pretending the weekdays don’t exist.” — Unknown
“I’m excellent at time management… if the task is procrastinating.” — Unknown
“The only thing I’ve balanced today is coffee in one hand and panic in the other.” — Unknown
“Logging off at 5 p.m. is my version of rebellion.” — Unknown
“Burnout? Nah, I’m just in permanent energy-saving mode.” — Unknown
“Multitasking: scrolling Instagram while pretending to be on a Zoom call.” — Unknown
“Self-care sometimes looks like calling in ‘sick of it.’” — Unknown
When Work Feels Like a Sitcom
“Sometimes I start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.” — Michael Scott
“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” — Michael Scott
“I work hard so my dog can have a better life.” — Unknown
“I’m actually a morning person… if morning starts after 11 a.m.” — Unknown
“Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.” — Drake
“Work hard, nap hard.” — Unknown
“I haven’t been this excited about Friday since last Friday.” — Unknown
“You miss 100% of the naps you don’t take.” — Wayne Gretzky — Michael Scott
“Everything is figureoutable. Except the printer.” — Unknown
“I did a lot of nothing today… and I’m proud of it.” — Unknown
“If I were paid to overthink, I’d be a millionaire.” — Unknown
“Meetings: where minutes are kept and hours are lost.” — Unknown
“Why be moody when you can shake your booty? Oh wait, HR said no.” — Unknown
“I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. It’s a fair system.” — Unknown
“‘Let’s circle back’ is corporate speak for ‘I have no idea what I’m doing.’” — Unknown
“My job is secure. No one else wants it.” — Unknown
“Wearing work pants today was my biggest accomplishment.” — Unknown
“I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.” — Unknown
“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” — Douglas Adams
“If Friday had a face, I’d kiss it.” — Unknown
“Another day, another Zoom call where I pretend I’m frozen.” — Unknown
“Coworker: ‘How are you?’ Me: Internally screaming in sitcom theme song” — Unknown
Remote Work Realness
“Working from home: where the dress code is business on top, disaster below.” — Unknown
“I didn’t sleep in. I was in a meeting with my pillow.” — Unknown
“Zoom fatigue is real. So is mute button drama.” — Unknown
“I’m not antisocial. I’m just pro couch.” — Unknown
“Can someone invent a filter that makes my background look like I don’t live in chaos?” — Unknown
“When your internet goes down during a meeting: ‘Guess I’m off the grid now. Goodbye corporate world.’” — Unknown
“The Wi-Fi is strong, but the motivation is weak.” — Unknown
“Working remotely means my coworkers are now my pets. They’re not very productive but morale is up.” — Unknown
“Nothing says professionalism like a cat walking across your keyboard mid-presentation.” — Unknown
“Remote work: where every meeting begins with ‘Can you hear me now?’” — Unknown
“My home office is 30% productivity and 70% snacks.” — Unknown
“I’ve mastered the art of nodding while zoning out on Zoom.” — Unknown
“Some days I forget if I’m working from home or living at work.” — Unknown
“Every day is casual Friday when your boss can’t see your pants.” — Unknown
“If I had a dollar for every time someone said ‘You’re on mute,’ I could retire.” — Unknown
“My coffee budget increased. My commute expenses? Gone.” — Unknown
“Yes, I work remotely. No, that doesn’t mean I’m free all day.” — Unknown
“Meetings are just group emails that could’ve been solo naps.” — Unknown
“My work hours are 9 to 5ish… heavy on the ‘ish.’” — Unknown
“BRB, pretending to be frozen on Zoom.” — Unknown
“Remote work turned me into a tech support wizard against my will.” — Unknown
“Productivity spikes dramatically after 4 cups of coffee and 1 existential crisis.” — Unknown
“Who needs an office when your dog gives better emotional support than HR?” — Unknown
“Outfit of the day: hoodie, coffee stain, repeat.” — Unknown
“The only traffic jam I face is my dog blocking the hallway.” — Unknown
“Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically—and so do the distractions.” — Unknown
“I miss the office… said no introvert ever.” — Unknown
“Work-from-home bingo: Dog barks, doorbell rings, toddler appears, Wi-Fi dies.” — Unknown
End of Week Energy
“Friday: The golden child of the weekdays. The welcome wagon to the weekend. The beginning of my ‘I don’t care’ phase.” — Unknown
“It’s Friday. Time to go make stories for Monday.” — Unknown
“Dear Friday, I’m so glad we are back together. I’m sorry you had to see me with Monday–Thursday, but I swear I was thinking of you the whole time.” — Unknown
“If Friday had a face, I’d kiss it.” — Unknown
“I survived the week. Barely. Where’s my trophy?” — Unknown
“Friday is proof that we survived the week and didn’t punch anyone.” — Unknown
“My weekend plans? Not move.” — Unknown
“The best feeling in the world is knowing your alarm won’t go off the next morning.” — Unknown
“Friday is the only F word I like.” — Unknown
“We are all just working for Friday.” — Unknown
“Hello weekend, I’ve missed you.” — Unknown
“Cheers to the freakin’ weekend!” — Unknown
“Work hard. Friday harder.” — Unknown
“It’s Friday. Let the caffeine be replaced by cocktails.” — Unknown
“Friday: The day my brain officially signs off at 2 PM.” — Unknown
“Let’s get this bread… and then toast it because it’s Friday.” — Unknown
“Friday is like a green light. You speed up until after work, and start to slow down for the weekend.” — Unknown
“The Friday mood: 80% tired, 20% already checked out.” — Unknown
“Friday, I love you more than coffee. And that’s saying a lot.” — Unknown
“I don’t work on Fridays. I just show up.” — Unknown
“Friday is the sequel to Monday I actually look forward to.” — Unknown
“If Friday had a theme song, it’d be me yelling ‘freedom’ in slow motion.” — Unknown
“Clocking out on Friday is a spiritual experience.” — Unknown
“That Friday feeling: legally alive, emotionally out-of-office.” — Unknown
“Friday is like glitter for the soul.” — Unknown
“Fri-nally.” — Unknown
“Friday: the day I pretend to be busy until quitting time.” — Unknown
“T.G.I.F. = Thank goodness I’m fabulous.” — Unknown
“By Friday, my ‘reply all’ button becomes a dangerous weapon.” — Unknown
Extra Quotes
“My morning productivity depends solely on how close my coffee is to my mouth.” — Unknown
“Mondays are like math. I know it’s important, I just don’t get it.” — Unknown
“First I drink the coffee. Then I pretend to know things.” — Unknown
“Let’s align our synergy so we can disrupt the paradigm and… sorry, I blacked out.” — Unknown
“I’m not late, I’m just early for my next excuse.” — Unknown
“Middle management: the art of appearing busy while doing nothing productive.” — Unknown
“My coworker (cat) just knocked my water over and stared at me like I deserved it.” — Unknown
“Why go into the office when I can work in bed with a face mask on?” — Unknown
“No pants. No problem.” — Unknown
“I didn’t choose the remote life. The remote life chose me.” — Unknown
“On Fridays, my sarcasm is extra sparkly.” — Unknown
“Weekend forecast: 100% chance of not working.” — Unknown
“I speak fluent Friday.” — Unknown
Final Thoughts: Work Might Be Wild, But At Least We’ve Got Memes
At the end of the day, we all need to vent our hard days a little bit. When we look around for ways to vent, laughter is often the best. We hope these quotes reminded you that you’re not alone in this madness.
That’s the wrap-up of 170 Funny Quotes About Work That Will Make You Feel Seen.
Did you find your favorite quotes? Don’t forget to share them in the comments.
