If you ever check your bank account before buying the coffee, congratulations- you’re official members of the we’re all just faking adulthood club. The truth is, nobody really has life figured out. Some people just have better tote bags to make it look like they do. In this post, we’ve curated 150+ funny life quotes for faking adulthood.
Let’s explore it!
Adulting: The Struggle Is Real
“Adulthood is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.” — Unknown
“Growing up is realizing that $5 is a lot for coffee but not enough for avocado toast.” — Unknown
“I’m not an adult; I’m just a tall child who pays bills.” — Unknown
“Adulthood is mostly just googling how to do stuff you should already know.” — Unknown
“Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet. No one really knows how.” — Unknown
“My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.” — Unknown
“Sometimes I just want to pack up and move to a cabin, but then I remember I’m scared of bugs and don’t know how to make a fire.” — Unknown
“Growing up is realizing your parents were just winging it too.” — Unknown
“Adulthood: You get excited about canceling plans.” — Unknown
“I thought I’d have my life together by now. But I also thought I’d have a hoverboard.” — Unknown
“Being an adult is realizing you can eat cake for breakfast… and then regretting it.” — Unknown
“Adulthood is when your back goes out more than you do.” — Unknown
“Life as an adult: ‘Should I eat dinner or just go straight to bed?’” — Unknown
“Growing up, I thought the hardest part of being an adult would be paying bills. Turns out, it’s figuring out what to cook every night.” — Unknown
“I’m at the ‘do I really need this, or should I pay rent’ stage of adulthood.” — Unknown
“Becoming an adult is realizing that 9 PM is late.” — Unknown
“I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy for when I really need it… which is never.” — Unknown
“I have a full-time job, but somehow my laundry still thinks I’m unemployed.” — Unknown
“They say ‘live, laugh, love.’ I’m more like ‘procrastinate, stress, nap.’” — Unknown
“Remember when we wanted to be adults? Hilarious.” — Unknown
The Chaos of Everyday Life
“Some days I amaze myself. Other days I look for my phone while holding it.” — Unknown
“I wish my life had background music so I could understand what’s going on.” — Unknown
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” — Mallory Hopkins
“My bed and I are in a committed relationship. It’s serious.” — Unknown
“If I were meant to be organized, I wouldn’t have been born in the era of Wi-Fi distractions.” — Unknown
“My house isn’t messy; it’s just custom-designed by chaos.” — Unknown
“Life is basically one long struggle to find your keys while holding your coffee.” — Unknown
“I like long walks… especially when they’re taken by people who annoy me.” — Fred Allen
“Some days I feel like I’m killing it. Other days I just hope I don’t trip over my own feet.” — Unknown
“I’m not clumsy. The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.” — Unknown
“Life is messy. My house is proof.” — Unknown
“If life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” — Cathy Guisewite
“I live in a constant state of almost-clean.” — Unknown
“Some people bring joy wherever they go. Others bring joy whenever they go.” — Oscar Wilde
“My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.” — Unknown
“My brain has too many tabs open.” — Unknown
“I want to be a morning person, but my bed has me in a chokehold.” — Unknown
“Life is basically: laundry, dishes, trash, repeat.” — Unknown
“I dusted once. It came back. I’m not falling for that again.” — Unknown
“Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring. So I go back to being me.” — Unknown
Work, Deadlines, and Pretending You’re Professional
“Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my keys in the fridge.” — Unknown
“I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, and 4% Friday.” — Unknown
“I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.” — Unknown
“I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.” — Unknown
“Meetings: where minutes are kept and hours are lost.” — Unknown
“Work hard so you can shop harder… and then work more to pay off the shopping.” — Unknown
“If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where I can return Mondays.” — Unknown
“Teamwork means you can blame someone else.” — Unknown
“I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas.” — Unknown
“Work hard in silence. Let your unpaid overtime make all the noise.” — Unknown
“That awkward moment when you accidentally reply all.” — Unknown
“I’m on a seafood diet at work. I see food on someone’s desk, and I eat it.” — Unknown
“Being an adult means learning how to mute yourself in meetings so you can complain freely.” — Unknown
“Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.” — Unknown
“Coffee: because adulting is hard and meetings are harder.” — Unknown
“I’m not late to work; I’m just running on creative time.” — Unknown
“The reward for good work is more work.” — Unknown
“Every day I give my boss 110%… of my sarcasm.” — Unknown
“I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted a paycheck.” — Unknown
“Work-life balance? More like work-snack balance.” — Unknown
Relationships, Friendships, and Awkward Social Skills
“Love is sharing your popcorn. Unless it’s the last handful — then love is looking the other way.” — Unknown
“Friendship is finding that one person you can be weird with.” — Unknown
“I like you because you join in on my weirdness.” — Unknown
“Relationships are mostly just texting each other ‘Do we have any food?’” — Unknown
“Marriage is basically just texting each other ‘Do we need anything from the store?’” — Unknown
“I’m not single. I’m just in a long-distance relationship with fun.” — Unknown
“Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.” — Pauline Thomason
“Some people you meet leave you speechless. Others just leave you.” — Unknown
“Friendship is when people know all about you and still like you.” — Elbert Hubbard
“You never realize how weird you are until you have to explain yourself to another human.” — Unknown
“A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move a body.” — Jim Hayes
“I’m not antisocial; I’m selectively social.” — Unknown
“Dating is fun… until you realize you have to keep talking to them.” — Unknown
“Friendship is about who you can call at 2 AM without judgment.” — Unknown
“I like people who don’t try to fix my mood. Just bring snacks and sit down.” — Unknown
“Some friends are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a beautiful day.” — Unknown
“Love makes the world go round, but so does a well-timed coffee date.” — Unknown
“I don’t need a relationship to be happy… but free dinners are nice.” — Unknown
“I’m not ignoring you. I’m just giving you time to miss me.” — Unknown
“I love you, but I love my personal space more.” — Unknown
Self-Care, But Make It Lazy
“My idea of self-care is canceling plans and eating cereal for dinner.” — Unknown
“I did a push-up today. Well, actually, I fell down. But I had to use my arms to get back up, so… close enough.” — Unknown
“Yoga class? I thought you said pour a glass.” — Unknown
“I’m into fitness. Fitness whole pizza in my mouth.” — Unknown
“I believe in naps. Naps are the answer to everything.” — Unknown
“Running late counts as exercise, right?” — Unknown
“I told myself I should get into shape. I am. Round is a shape.” — Unknown
“My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch… I call it lunch.” — Unknown
“Resting is a sport, and I’m an athlete.” — Unknown
“I burn calories by stressing out.” — Unknown
“I eat salad every day. Well, mostly croutons and cheese, but still.” — Unknown
“Water is life… unless it’s in my shoes.” — Unknown
“I did a digital detox. It lasted 27 minutes.” — Unknown
“I could be a morning person… if mornings happened at noon.” — Unknown
“I tried meditation, but I kept falling asleep.” — Unknown
“My skincare routine is called ‘hope for the best.’” — Unknown
“I have a gym membership. I just don’t go near the building.” — Unknown
“The only marathon I’m interested in is on Netflix.” — Unknown
“I tried running once. The ice cream truck was too fast.” — Unknown
“Self-care is doing nothing and feeling good about it.” — Unknown
Money: Making It, Spending It, Losing It
“I have too much month at the end of my money.” — Unknown
“My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.” — Unknown
“I’m not broke. I’m just pre-rich.” — Unknown
“I work hard so my cat can have a better life.” — Unknown
“Budgeting is just deciding which bills you’ll ignore this month.” — Unknown
“Shopping is cheaper than therapy… unless you’re me.” — Unknown
“Why save money when you can spend it on things you’ll forget about in a week?” — Unknown
“I need a six-month vacation, twice a year.” — Unknown
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy snacks. And that’s basically the same thing.” — Unknown
“I’m on a strict budget. I can’t spend more than I have… which is nothing.” — Unknown
“I wish my bank account grew as fast as my laundry pile.” — Unknown
“My favorite thing about money is when it’s someone else’s.” — Unknown
“I spent my paycheck in my head before it even hit my account.” — Unknown
“I think my debit card is haunted. Every time I use it, my balance disappears.” — Unknown
“I’d be rich if I didn’t like food, coffee, or the internet.” — Unknown
“Financial planning? I can barely plan dinner.” — Unknown
“My credit card and I are in a toxic relationship.” — Unknown
“Saving money is great… until you remember there’s online shopping.” — Unknown
“Broke but bougie.” — Unknown
“Money talks. Mine says goodbye.” — Unknown
Life Lessons You Probably Won’t Use
“Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.” — Steven Wright
“Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive.” — Elbert Hubbard
“Life is short. Buy the shoes. Eat the cake. Take the nap.” — Unknown
“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” — Will Rogers
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.” — Unknown
“Never follow anyone else’s path… unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost.” — Ellen DeGeneres
“Some people are like clouds. Once they disappear, it’s a beautiful day.” — Unknown
“Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you made bad choices.” — Unknown
“The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” — Steven Wright
“Don’t be afraid of failure. Be afraid of not having snacks.” — Unknown
“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” — Steven Wright
“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.” — Mark Twain
“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans… and losing your keys.” — Unknown
“When life shuts a door… open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.” — Unknown
“Never test the depth of the water with both feet.” — African Proverb
“Mistakes are proof you’re trying… and that you need more coffee.” — Unknown
“Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” — Billie Burke
“Opportunity knocks, but temptation leans on the doorbell.” — Unknown
“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life… because they’re not hiring.” — Unknown
Random Life Wisdom That’s Just Too Real
“Some days you’re the pigeon, some days you’re the statue.” — Unknown
“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” — Unknown
“Life is a soup and I’m a fork.” — Unknown
“Why be moody when you can shake your booty?” — Unknown
“If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.” — Unknown
“I’m on the seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.” — Unknown
“Life is too short to remove USB safely.” — Unknown
“The best things in life are free… plus shipping and handling.” — Unknown
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying.” — Unknown
“Life is like a camera: focus on the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out, take another shot.” — Unknown
“You can’t have everything… where would you put it?” — Steven Wright
“Life would be perfect if it had background music and an undo button.” — Unknown
“Don’t grow up. It’s a trap.” — Unknown
“The secret to life? Lower your expectations and add cheese.” — Unknown
“I saw. I made it awkward.” — Unknown
Conclusion: We’re All Just Making It Up as We Go
That’s the wrapp-up of our collection of 150+ funny life quotes for faking adulthood. Through this collection, i hope you already figured out that no matter how put-together someone looks on Instagram, they’re probably just as confused, tired, and coffee-dependent as you are.
So the next time life feels overwhelming, remember these quotes. Save them. Share them.
Now go forth and adult… or at least pretend to.
