Sometimes, coffee is more than just a drink in our lives. It’s the reason some of us get out our bed to chase our goals, it’s our love or a daily dose of sanity, and sometimes the only thing that helps us move forward in our dull life. If you have ever told someone “not before coffee,” then this “120 Coffee Quotes That Are Too Funny and Too True” will be yours.
Grab a cup of coffee and start laughing!
Funny Quotes About Needing Coffee to Survive
“I don’t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without it.” — Unknown
“Coffee: because adulting is hard.” — Unknown
“I like my coffee like I like myself: dark, bitter, and too hot for you.” — Unknown
“Procaffeinating: the tendency to not start anything until you’ve had a coffee.” — Urban Dictionary
“Espresso yourself… or risk spontaneous combustion.” — Unknown
“Coffee is a hug in a mug.” — Unknown
“I drink coffee for your protection.” — Unknown
“Some people wake up and smell the roses. I prefer coffee.” — Unknown
“Coffee first. Schemes later.” — Leanna Renee Hieber
“I love you more than coffee—but not always before coffee.” — Unknown
“Without coffee, I’m basically a 2-year-old whose blankie is in the wash.” — Unknown
“You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy coffee. Same thing.” — Unknown
“Coffee is the foundation of adulting.” — Unknown
“Coffee: the gasoline of life’s engine.” — Unknown
“I follow a balanced diet: coffee in each hand.” — Unknown
“Life without coffee is like trying to work without Wi-Fi.” — Unknown
“Step aside water. This is a job for coffee.” — Unknown
“Behind every successful person is a substantial amount of coffee.” — Stephanie Piro
“Coffee doesn’t ask silly questions. Coffee understands.” — Unknown
“Stressed, blessed, and coffee obsessed.” — Unknown
Mood: Powered by Coffee
“I drink coffee because adulting is hard and napping is frowned upon.” — Unknown
“Decaf? No thanks. I’d rather be tired and bitter.” — Unknown
“If you’re not shaking, you need another cup.” — Unknown
“Coffee isn’t a drug, it’s a vitamin.” — Unknown
“I like coffee and maybe three people.” — Unknown
“Today’s good mood is sponsored by coffee.” — Unknown
“I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I need coffee.” — Unknown
“Behind every tired mom is a strong cup of coffee.” — Unknown
“Coffee doesn’t judge. Coffee gets it.” — Unknown
“My blood type is coffee.” — Unknown
“You know you’re addicted when the barista knows your life story.” — Unknown
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday short.” — Unknown
“I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope for the best.” — Unknown
“Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.” — Unknown
“If coffee can’t fix it, it’s a serious problem.” — Unknown
“This is my resting coffee face.” — Unknown
“I drink coffee like a Gilmore girl: constantly and dramatically.” — Unknown
“Love is in the air… or is that just coffee brewing?” — Unknown
“Coffee before talkie.” — Unknown
“Caffeine and kindness. But mostly caffeine.” — Unknown
Coffee and Work: A Survival Story
“My job is 90% coffee and 10% pretending to know what I’m doing.” — Unknown
“Coffee: turning ‘leave me alone’ into ‘good morning.’” — Unknown
“First I drink the coffee, then I do the things.” — Unknown
“Behind every deadline met is a coffee-stained keyboard.” — Unknown
“Meetings are just excuses to drink more coffee.” — Unknown
“My boss told me to have a good day… so I went and got coffee.” — Unknown
“Zoom meeting essentials: shirt, mute button, and coffee.” — Unknown
“Emails and espresso: the real morning routine.” — Unknown
“Productivity is just a caffeine buzz in disguise.” — Unknown
“Rise, grind, coffee, repeat.” — Unknown
“I could stop drinking coffee, but I’m not a quitter.” — Unknown
“This presentation brought to you by caffeine-induced anxiety.” — Unknown
“I’m not a workaholic. I’m a coffeeholic with a full-time job.” — Unknown
“I work well under pressure… especially with a latte.” — Unknown
“The only thing keeping me professional is espresso.” — Unknown
“Deadlines and dark roast. Let’s do this.” — Unknown
“Corporate fuel = black coffee + silent tears.” — Unknown
“Overqualified? More like over-caffeinated.” — Unknown
“Teamwork makes the dream work… after coffee.” — Unknown
“I speak fluent email and caffeine.” — Unknown
Quotes That Mix Romance with Caffeine
“Love is brewing—and it smells like coffee.” — Unknown
“All I need is you and coffee. Mostly coffee, though.” — Unknown
“My soulmate might be a barista.” — Unknown
“We go together like coffee and more coffee.” — Unknown
“You mocha me crazy.” — Unknown
“He’s hot, strong, and keeps me awake—yep, he’s coffee.” — Unknown
“I like my coffee how I like my relationships: warm, strong, and daily.” — Unknown
“You’re the cream to my coffee.” — Unknown
“Coffee and cuddles—what more could you need?” — Unknown
“Falling in love? Nah, I just had a really good cappuccino.” — Unknown
“He brought me coffee. I’m keeping him.” — Unknown
“Love fades. Coffee is forever.” — Unknown
“My idea of a romantic gesture is bringing me coffee without asking.” — Unknown
“Forget flowers—bring me coffee.” — Unknown
“Coffee is my love language.” — Unknown
“If you can’t handle me at my no-coffee, you don’t deserve me at my latte.” — Unknown
“You had me at espresso.” — Unknown
“Relationships come and go, but coffee is eternal.” — Unknown
“Love is sweet, but coffee is sweeter.” — Unknown
“If loving coffee is wrong, I don’t want to be right.” — Unknown
Coffee Shop Shenanigans
“I do my best work in coffee shops and crisis mode.” — Unknown
“Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically… and smells like coffee.” — Unknown
“My office is wherever there’s espresso and outlets.” — Unknown
“Baristas are the real MVPs of society.” — Unknown
“I judge people by their coffee order.” — Unknown
“Ordering a complicated coffee gives me the illusion of control.” — Unknown
“A flat white a day keeps the grumpy away.” — Unknown
“I have a latte feelings about this place.” — Unknown
“Caffeine, comfort, and chaos: welcome to your local café..” — Unknown
“Yes, I’m working. No, I’m not buying a muffin.” — Every freelancer ever
“Coffee shops are cheaper than therapy and taste better too.” — Unknown
“You know it’s bad when the barista starts asking if you sleep here.” — Unknown
“I came, I saw, I ordered a venti.” — Unknown
“I’m loyal—to my coffee shop.” — Unknown
“Coffee shop playlists = oddly motivating.” — Unknown
“Café life chose me.” — Unknown
“It’s not just coffee. It’s ambiance, mood lighting, and Wi-Fi.” — Unknown
“Barista knows my name. That counts as social interaction.” — Unknown
“Every coffee shop has a ghostwriter typing furiously in the corner.” — Unknown
“Café: the official headquarters of dreams and deadlines.” — Unknown
Just One More Cup
“Too much Monday, not enough coffee.” — Unknown
“Coffee is a daily grind I don’t mind.” — Unknown
“Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my existential crisis and coffee.” — Unknown
“I run on caffeine, chaos, and questionable choices.” — Unknown
“Life’s too short for bad coffee.” — Unknown
“Coffee is a cup of hope in a world full of chaos.” — Unknown
“Some heroes wear capes. Others make coffee.” — Unknown
“I have measured my life in coffee spoons.” — T.S. Eliot
“Decaf? What’s the point?” — Unknown
“Let’s get this brew on the road.” — Unknown
“There’s no such thing as too much coffee—just not enough time.” — Unknown
“Coffee is my favorite coworker.” — Unknown
“I like big cups and I cannot lie.” — Unknown
“Mornings are a cruel joke without coffee.” — Unknown
“Coffee gives me the illusion that I might be awake.” — Lewis Black
“If coffee were a person, I’d marry it.” — Unknown
“Another day, another cup.” — Unknown
“No talkie before coffee.” — Unknown
“Caffeinate me, Captain.” — Unknown
“Drink coffee and do stupid things faster with more energy.” — Unknown
Final Sip
Well, that’s the wrap-up of our collection of 100 Funny Coffee Quotes That Are Too True. Hope you find your favorite quote from the collection and share with your friend.Which one made you laugh the most? Let me know in the comments below—and don’t forget to bring coffee!
