Life is indeed a rollercoaster of highs and lows, wild, stressful, unpredictable, and really hilarious when we take time to think about it. Between awkward moments, deadlines, and bills, sometimes all we can do is laugh. In this post, we’ve gathered 110 funny quotes about life that define what we’re going through.
Let’s dive in and laugh at the chaos together.
Funny Quotes About Adulting
“Adulthood is like looking both ways before crossing the street and then getting hit by an airplane.” – Unknown
“Adulthood is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.” – Unknown
“Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet. Nobody really knows how.” – Unknown
“Half of adulthood is just saying, ‘Well, it is what it is.’” – Unknown
“I thought adulthood would be more glamorous. Turns out it’s just bills and back pain.” – Unknown
“Adulthood is wanting a nap every day and never getting one.” – Unknown
“Being an adult is realizing you can’t eat like you did in college without consequences.” – Unknown
“Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my phone in the fridge.” – Unknown
“If I had known adulthood was this hard, I would have stayed five forever.” – Unknown
“Growing up is realizing that Friday isn’t as fun when you have bills to pay on Monday.” – Unknown
Funny Quotes About Work
“I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. It’s a fair deal.” – Unknown
“My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.” – Unknown
“Work hard so you can afford to take Instagram pictures pretending to relax.” – Unknown
“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
“Every day I give 100% at work: 10% caffeine, 20% complaining, 30% emails, 40% daydreaming.” – Unknown
“The problem with work is that it interferes with my nap schedule.” – Unknown
“Meetings: where minutes are kept and hours are lost.” – Unknown
“Teamwork makes the dream work… until you realize your team is a nightmare.” – Unknown
“Work-life balance is just code for answering emails in bed.” – Unknown
“Nothing motivates me to leave work faster than seeing someone else pack up.” – Unknown
Funny Quotes About Money
“My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.” – Unknown
“Why is there so much month left at the end of my money?” – John Barrymore
“Money talks. All mine says is, ‘Goodbye.’” – Unknown
“Being broke builds character. But I’d rather build snacks.” – Unknown
“I can’t afford to pay attention.” – Unknown
“Money doesn’t buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Ferrari.” – Unknown
“I’m not poor. I’m financially creative.” – Unknown
“Retail therapy is cheaper than a psychiatrist… sometimes.” – Unknown
“Budgeting is just adult math, and I failed math.” – Unknown
“I always check my bank account to remind myself why I can’t go out.” – Unknown
Funny Quotes About Daily Life
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” – Unknown
“Some days I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.” – Unknown
“Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” – Tom Lehrer
“If life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” – Cathy Guisewite
“Life doesn’t have hands, but it sure can slap you.” – Unknown
“The older I get, the earlier it gets late.” – Unknown
“Life is basically just waiting for the weekend.” – Unknown
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” – Robin Williams
“Life is tough. But so am I. Just less caffeinated.” – Unknown
“Life is just a series of awkward hellos and painful goodbyes.” – Unknown
Funny Quotes About Food
“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.” – Unknown
“My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch… I call it lunch.” – Unknown
“I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut.” – Unknown
“Calories don’t count on the weekend.” – Unknown
“I wish everything I liked was zero calories. Including wine.” – Unknown
“Food is my love language.” – Unknown
“Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not.” – Unknown
“I eat cake because somewhere, someone is celebrating.” – Unknown
“There’s no ‘we’ in fries.” – Unknown
“I love long romantic walks… to the fridge.” – Unknown
Funny Quotes About Relationships
“Relationships are just two people constantly asking each other what they want to eat.” – Unknown
“Love is blind. Marriage is the real eye-opener.” – Pauline Thomason
“I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.” – Elizabeth Evans
“My love life is like a Wi-Fi signal—weak and unreliable.” – Unknown
“Behind every angry woman stands a man who has no idea what he did wrong.” – Unknown
“Some people bring joy wherever they go. Others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde
“Relationships are basically sharing memes until one of you dies.” – Unknown
“If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?” – Lily Tomlin
“Awkward is saying goodbye, then walking in the same direction.” – Unknown
“The secret to a happy marriage? Low expectations.” – Unknown
Funny Quotes About Technology
“Autocorrect is my worst enema.” – Unknown
“That awkward moment when you accidentally like your crush’s 2012 photo.” – Unknown
“My phone battery lasts longer than most relationships.” – Unknown
“I’m not addicted to my phone. We’re just in a committed relationship.” – Unknown
“Nothing makes me panic like seeing ‘typing…’ for five minutes with no reply.” – Unknown
“Wi-Fi went down for five minutes, so I had to talk to my family. They seem nice.” – Unknown
“Social media is just high school, but with more filters.” – Unknown
“I hate when I’m texting someone and they call me instead.” – Unknown
“Modern dating is just ghosting with Wi-Fi.” – Unknown
“I wish my life had a backspace key.” – Unknown
Funny Quotes About Aging
“You know you’re getting old when you bend over and wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.” – George Burns
“The older I get, the more I realize I’m not going to be the person I thought I’d be at 18.” – Unknown
“Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you. Or tolerating you.” – Unknown
“I’m not 40. I’m 25 with 15 years of experience.” – Unknown
“Middle age is when you’re faced with two temptations and choose the one that gets you home earlier.” – Dan Bennett
“You know you’re old when your candles cost more than your cake.” – Bob Hope
“Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.” – Walt Disney
“I finally realized people aren’t staring at me. They’re staring at their phones.” – Unknown
“My back goes out more than I do.” – Phyllis Diller
“Youth is wasted on the young.” – George Bernard Shaw
Funny Quotes About Motivation (or Lack of It)
“My bed and I are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.” – Unknown
“I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.” – Unknown
“Exercise? I thought you said extra fries.” – Unknown
“My motivation is like Wi-Fi—sometimes strong, sometimes nonexistent.” – Unknown
“If procrastination was a sport, I’d win gold every time.” – Unknown
“I always give 100%—except when donating blood.” – Unknown
“I have a lot of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.” – Unknown
“My brain has too many tabs open.” – Unknown
“The best part of doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Unknown
“I put the ‘pro’ in procrastination.” – Unknown
Random Funny Life Quotes
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.” – Unknown
“Running late counts as exercise.” – Unknown
“Normal is just a setting on the dryer.” – Unknown
“I’m not clumsy. The floor just hates me.” – Unknown
“Life is one long awkward moment.” – Unknown
“I tried being normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.” – Unknown
“I don’t trip, I do random gravity checks.” – Unknown
“Don’t worry if plan A fails. There are 25 more letters in the alphabet.” – Unknown
“I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown
“Life’s too short to match socks.” – Unknown
Bonus: Quotes That Hurt (Because They’re Too Accurate)
“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family… in another city.” – George Burns
“We are all born mad. Some remain so.” – Samuel Beckett
“If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.” – Ann Landers
“Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.” – Kyle Chandler
“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.” – Mark Twain
“Life is hard. After all, it kills you.” – Katharine Hepburn
“Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.” – Oscar Wilde
“Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from taking a nap.” – Unknown
Wrapping It Up: Laughing at Life’s Chaos
Life was never meant to be perfect. I guess we all just have to understand and laugh through it. These 110 funny quotes about life prove that humor really is the best way to survive adulthood, bills, relationships, and all the randomness in between.
Don’t forget to select some of your favorites and share them with someone who might need them.
