As you know laughter is the best medicine that we can get freely. And what better way is there to inject some joy into our day than with a collection of hilarious quotes? Whether we’re having a tough day or just need a good chuckle, this collection of funny quotes will leave you laughing in a way that your stomach might ache. We’ve collected 100+ funny quotes that will make you laugh out loud and can bring some moments to your day.
So, let’s dive into some side-splitting wisdom from comedians, authors, and everyday jokesters. Get ready to LOL!
1. Funny Quotes About Life
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” — Unknown
“A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.” — Unknown
“Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.” — Unknown
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” — Steve Martin
“Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” — Tom Lehrer
“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.” — Tommy Cooper
“Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.” — Maryon Pearson
“I love my job only when I’m on vacation.” — Unknown
“Life was much easier when Apple and Blackberry were just fruits.” — Unknown
“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” — Unknown
2. Hilarious Quotes About Work
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
“My boss told me to have a good day… so I went home.” — Unknown
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
“Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done.” — Unknown
“Monday is proof that we survived the weekend.” — Unknown
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” — Steven Wright
“I pretend to work as long as they pretend to pay me.” — Unknown
3. Side-Splitting Quotes About Relationships
“Before you marry someone, make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.” — Unknown
“Love is sharing your popcorn.” — Charles Schultz
“Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.” — Unknown
“My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.” — Unknown
“If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?” — Lily Tomlin
“Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park.” — Unknown
“The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.” — Gore Vidal
“Marriage is just texting each other ‘Do we need anything from the store?’ a million times until you die.” — Unknown
“Never laugh at your wife’s choices. You are one of them.” — Unknown
“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” — Groucho Marx
4. Laugh-Out-Loud Quotes About Money
“Money talks… but all mine ever says is goodbye.” — Unknown
“Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.” — Oscar Wilde
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” — Bob Hope
“Budget: A mathematical confirmation of your suspicions.” — A.A. Latimer
“The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.” — Will Rogers
“I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life… if I die next Tuesday.” — Unknown
“Financial freedom is available to those who learn about it and work for it… just not for me yet.” — Unknown
“I’m not rich, but I’m sure I’d be a darling at it.” — Dorothy Parker
“I spent a lot of money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.” — George Best
“Why do they call it ‘fast food’ when you have to wait so long for it?” — Unknown
5. Randomly Hysterical Quotes
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” — Robin Williams
“If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?” — Unknown
“I know the voices in my head aren’t real, but they have some great ideas!” — Unknown
“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” — Will Rogers
“The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.” — Unknown
“I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” — Unknown
“I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me, and the walls get in my way.” — Unknown
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” — Unknown
“Life’s biggest tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.” — Benjamin Franklin
“I don’t suffer from insanity—I enjoy every minute of it.” — Unknown51-110. (Continue the quotes up to 110 as needed)
“Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.” — Unknown
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.” — Unknown
“When nothing goes right, go left.” — Unknown
“I want to be like a caterpillar: eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.” — Unknown
“A clean house is a sign of a wasted life.” — Unknown
“You can’t have everything… where would you put it?” — Steven Wright
“I may be a beginner at some things, but I’ve got a black belt in shopping.” — Unknown
“I’m not lazy. I’m just in energy-saving mode.” — Unknown
“Don’t worry if plan A doesn’t work. There are 25 more letters in the alphabet!” — Unknown
“If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.” — Earl Wilson
More Hilarious Quotes About Work
“The trouble with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re done.” — Unknown
“By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be the boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
“Teamwork is important. It helps to put the blame on someone else.” — Unknown
“I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke.” — Unknown
“If Monday had a face, I’d punch it.” — Unknown
“You don’t have to be crazy to work here. We’ll train you.” — Unknown
“Retirement: Goodbye tension, hello pension.” — Unknown
“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” — Douglas Adams
“Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Tuesday.” — Unknown
“Sometimes the best part of my job is that the chair swivels.” — Unknown
More Side-Splitting Quotes About Relationships
“A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other.” — Unknown
“Arguing with your spouse is like trying to read the Terms & Conditions—you just give up and say, ‘I agree.’” — Unknown
“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” — Dr. Seuss
“Behind every angry woman stands a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.” — Unknown
“I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.” — Rodney Dangerfield
“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” — Rita Rudner
“Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably crap.” — Unknown
“When a woman says ‘What?’ it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.” — Unknown
“My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.” — Unknown
“I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.” — Unknown
More Laugh-Out-Loud Quotes About Money
“I have an accounting degree. I can count my money and cry at the same time.” — Unknown
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy chocolate, which is kind of the same thing.” — Unknown
“I checked my bank account balance today. I’m starting to think someone is stealing money from me and leaving receipts for pizza and coffee.” — Unknown
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.” — Franklin P. Jones
“I don’t understand how I can spend so much money and still have nothing to wear.” — Unknown
“Why is it called ‘after dark’ when it’s really ‘after light’?” — Unknown
“I’m great at saving money. I saved hundreds last month by not paying my bills.” — Unknown
“I hate when I see an old person and realize we went to high school together.” — Unknown
“They say money can’t buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Ferrari.” — Unknown
“I need a six-month vacation, twice a year.” — Unknown
More Randomly Hysterical Quotes
“Some people bring happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” — Oscar Wilde
“If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I’d start thinking about someone else.” — Unknown
“I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen me and Batman in the same room?” — Unknown
“Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!” — Unknown
“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.” — Bill Murray
“A day without laughter is a day wasted, but a day without coffee is even worse.” — Unknown
“I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.” — Unknown
“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” — Cathy Guisewite
“I told my suitcase there will be no vacations this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.” — Unknown
“When I die, I want my last words to be: ‘I left a million dollars under the…’” — Unknown
“I have too many hobbies. I can’t afford them all, so I’m collecting them instead.” — Unknown
“The only thing I grow in my garden is tired.” — Unknown
“Why do they call them apartments when they’re all stuck together?” — Unknown
“I need a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign that’s more intense, like ‘Leave Me Alone’ or ‘Come Back with Tacos’.” — Unknown
“My bed and I have a special relationship. We’re perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.” — Unknown
“I love my six-pack so much I protect it with a layer of fat.” — Unknown
“I don’t trip; I do random gravity checks.” — Unknown
“Why does my autocorrect always change ‘omg’ to ‘on my goat’? I never text about goats.” — Unknown
“Being an adult is just Googling how to do everything.” — Unknown
“Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.” — Unknown
Final Thoughts
Life is too short to be serious all the time. Sometimes we just need to laugh out loud. Hopefully, this collection brought some laughter and joy to your day! Whether it’s about work, love, or money, a good sense of humor makes everything better
Which quote was your favorite one? Comment below!
